“The greatest thing I have learned is that sex is about energy, not effort,” says my engineer partner, who a year prior had considered the concept of energy as something “woo-woo” and non-tangible.
I’ve been studying erotic and healing arts for more than two decades, experientially and academically. What I’ve discovered is that our greatest potential for wellness, pleasure, and the best sex ever, is our natural born sexual energy, and what we do with it.
Sexual energy is our most potent, vital life force energy, also called prana or chi.
Open, strong, expansive sexual energy is nourishing, transformative, healing and foundational to our health and wellness. It contributes greatly to our passion, creativity, and sense of well-being.
This energy is regenerative and is considered the real fountain of youth in tantric and Taoist sacred sexuality philosophies, as well as within the mystical traditions of many religions.
Sexual energy practices are designed to unite your body, soul, and spirit, as well as to unite with another.
They can be used to manifest things, which can be done through sex magic practices. This is fundamentally what many tantric practices are based on – alchemy with sexual energy.
Sexual energy is NOT mysterious.
It’s right there within you all the time. It may be hidden or running low. It can always be reignited, cultivated, and expressed.
Our sexual energy is not only our greatest untapped resource but also the greatest way we can get more resources in all aspects of life.
When we learn to consciously expand and cultivate it, we gain incredible vitality instead of less, as we age, just as Helen Rowlands taught us in her recent Blog, How I healed by creating amazing sex!
Running sexual energy entails consciously connecting to it, and directing it with attention, and intention, which leads one to become a masterful lover. So much so that this was one of my partner’s reactions:
“That thing you were doing last night, I felt that, yeah, I really liked it. I could feel the energy”, says my new highly pragmatic, in law enforcement not healing arts, lover.
What was I doing?
I was running energy away from his genitals up into his heart with a hand on his heart and the other stimulating his genitals. His body had responded with visible spasms, as the energy moved up through his spine.
As a female in my early 40’s, I’m far more alive, sexually and otherwise, than I’ve ever been, through learning how to increase, feed, and play with my sexual energy.
I teach these life skills that help transform my clients’ relationship with their bodies, with others and with life itself.
Here are 8 ways you can integrate energy into your pleasure practices so you can start your own transformation:
Recall moments where you felt aroused and turned-on by life
This is actually your natural state, one of being content, satisfied, and playful. When we are in pleasure, our energy is balanced and flowing, and includes our sexual energy, effortlessly.
Notice how much pleasure (if any) do you allow in your body
Pleasure is the quintessential essence of sexual energy. Our bodies are perfectly designed for pleasure and can provide new levels of pleasure if we allow them to do so.
Embody pleasure in all aspects of your life
Embodying more pleasure is fundamental in accessing more sexual energy.
You can achieve this by assessing how much pleasure can we have when: sleeping, eating, bathing, moving, working, sexing, in any activity, mundane or not?
We can all benefit immensely from exploring how we can have more pleasure.
How many levels of pleasure can we access (hint: endless!)?
How many ways can we incorporate pleasure into all aspects of life? With ourselves, and with a partner(s).
Tap into your sexual energy
Always start with your own body.
A solo-practice of running sexual energy is a potent and powerful tool for becoming a better more attuned lover and partner.
Here is a quick but potent tantra practice you can try on your own:
Heart-Genital Meditation Solo Practice
- Close your eyes
- Connect your heart and genitals by gently holding and cupping with your hands
- Visualize a circuit while breathing and moving energy in both directions
- Put your right hand (or giving hand) on genitals and run energy up to your left hand (or receiving hand)
- Do this for 5 – 10 minutes
- Switch hands and repeat
This technique can help clear heartache, shame, and sexual trauma.
If you’re uncomfortable holding or cupping your genitals, then hold the second chakra area on the lower belly, about an inch below the belly button.
This is a great practice to fall asleep doing on yourself as well and helps to balance the energies of your heart and genitals.
Be attentive to your body and genitals
How relaxed are you/they? Is there any tension, pain, or resistance that you are noticing?
Simply accept wherever you are in the moment, and allow yourself to breathe deeper and relax. Keep relaxing, even deeper, until you come to have a sense of your sexual energy.
Start noticing your sexual energy
Now that you’re paying attention to your body and genitals relax and surrender to spontaneous playfulness and notice where you feel energy flowing – this is part of your sexual energy.
This is the path to ecstasy. Our energy centers in our bodies open and new neural pathways start to run, when sexual energy is moved up the spine to the head from the genitals, instead of solely out through the genitals.
Understand that you need pleasure in your life
Pleasure is for adults as play is for children.
Adults need more pleasure, as a form of play, to generate more relaxation, as well as to stimulate their sexual energy. Once we have a sense of our sexual energy, we can learn techniques to expand and cultivate more of it to help us in other areas our lives outside the bedroom.
Practice is key.
Once you’ve gotten in touch with your sexual energy, you can practice with a partner and in your solo play. For some, it takes a little time to develop being able to feel the energy while others feel it immediately. There’s no right or wrong way. It’s all information.
As a way to start your sexual energy practice, here is an eye-gazing sexual energy exercise you can do with a partner:
- Decide who is the giver and receiver
- Set a timer for 5 minutes
- The giver, standing or sitting a couple of feet or more apart, focuses on generating arousal (with or without touching themselves) from their genitals moving it up through their body and out through their eyes into the eyes of the receiver
- The receiver focuses on breathing and noticing sensations in their body
- Once time is up, share what you noticed one at a time
- Now switch roles and repeat.
The more you learn to run sexual energy, the easier it gets, and you can even learn how to bring yourself and/or a partner to orgasm energetically. You can have mind-blowing experiences of new perception, and bust through to more pleasure than you could have imagined.
In my experience, running and connecting sexual energy is the root of the best sex. For me, sex really is about energy, not effort.
When you play with sexual energy, you are playing with fire, so doing so safely is paramount. Start slow, and get the proper guidance and resources.
The Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough™ courses will support and guide you in sexual energy practices. Expanding and cultivating sexual energy is foundational to this curriculum.
Find out what Type you are with the Erotic Blueprint Quiz. Your primary Type may be Energetic.
That’s the type that is turned on from ENERGY.
Signs you may be an Energetic Type: You’re turned on by not being touched as much physically, but more energetically. This Blueprint is aroused by (energetic) anticipation, (energetic) tease and lots of (energetic) space.
To learn about how to expand and play in the Energetic Blueprint™, to expand and embody more of your sexual energy, and to add new dimensions to your sex life, you can work with a certified Erotic Blueprint Coach™.
As you practice the exercise(s) above and learn the Erotic Blueprints, you’ll start to cultivate and expand your sexual energy, which is essential for your health, your pleasure, and of course, your sex life!
Sacha Fossa is a sexual wellness and empowerment coach, educator, and holistic healing arts practitioner. She has an MA in Health, Arts & Sciences, is Planned Parenthood certified, is an Advanced Certified Tantric Educator and licensed Erotic Blueprint Coach™, with over 20 certifications in Healing Arts Therapies. Learn more about her offerings at sacredtemplearts.com.