Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on Friday, January 11th, 2019, where it stated that Genevieve Rudolph was a dominatrix until about a year and a half ago. Recently, Genevieve clarified that she played as a dominant in BDSM until a year and a half ago, but she stopped working professionally as a dominatrix about 9 years ago. This article has been amended to reflect that change.
Gender identity has been evolving right before our eyes – challenging the norms and expanding what’s possible for people in their personal expression.
As we move away from traditional gender roles and embrace sexual fluidity, we can use this as an opportunity for personal growth and empowerment.
Before gender equality movements and sex positivity movements were as popular as they are today, there was a brave member of our erotic community who used androgyny and kink to reclaim their personal power – Genevieve Rudolph.
Genevieve is a certified Erotic Blueprint™ Coach, Sexual Shamanic Healer and former Professional Dominatrix. She uses the Erotic Blueprints™, experiential exercises and holistic healing to guide clients to re-discover magic within their bodies.
Genevieve is facilitating our monthly “Embody It!” Pleasure Practice in our exclusive monthly membership group: Erotic Freedom Club™. During these classes she will teach people how to cultivate their inner Domme through intuition and dominant energy to create magical kinky experiences.
Since many of you are not a member of Erotic Freedom Club (see * below for how to become a member), we wanted to give you a taste of how we roll by interviewing Genevieve about this very topic.
In this interview, you’ll learn about Genevieve’s journey as a professional dominatrix and how she used the Kinky Blueprint™ to expand into the Energetic Blueprint ™. You’ll also learn how to use kinky practices safely and how to use dominant energy to reclaim your power whether your vulva-bodied or penis-bodied.
Here is the conversation we had with Genevieve. Enjoy!
What was your primary blueprint when you first took the Erotic Blueprint™ Quiz?
Genevieve Rudolph: I was a strong Kinky Blueprint™ when I first took the Erotic Blueprint Quiz [in] January 2017
What’s your current blueprint?
Genevieve: I’m now a strong Energetic Blueprint™.
Wow! That’s really a big jump. When did your Blueprint shift?
Genevieve: After attending Ignite Your Passion Live. [During] Ignite Your Passion, I was crazy in a great way, just flaunting myself and having kink parties but I wanted to learn that energetic piece. As soon as I started to set my intention it happened. So, by August 2017 I was full blown energetic. Then met an Energetic Blueprint™ partner and we were giving each other orgasms without even touching each other.
How did you use your Kinky Blueprint™ to expand into the Energetic Blueprint™?
Genevieve: So, there’s a sisterhood between dark energy and kink. The dark energy is part of the Energetic Blueprint. It’s seductive energy but it’s not kinky [because] it’s not playing in taboo. That was an easy tie in [for me], because one of my [kinky partners] that ties me up [is] very much energetic/kinky.
So, I learned [Energetic Blueprint] first in the dark [energy] but the lighter [energy] was hard for me. I would then have [my rope partner play in] the dark energy [so] I could feel into it. I would tell him, “Hey, I want to work on the light energy too.” So, he would flip and then I would try to [match] it.
Energetic for me was a lot about feeling what’s already present in the room and that connection you create, [so] that made sense to me in my brain. So energetic kink [play] is my favorite now.
What led you to the kink lifestyle?
Genevieve: It has always been a part of me. I remember being 12 years old and finding a BDSM magazine called Bazaar. My friend was a little bit older and he had it in his room. And I was just totally fascinated. I was like “this is everything I always wanted.” I felt seen! It was like, “Oh my gosh, people like the same thing I do.”
It’s funny [because] when I was a little girl, I used to have fantasies that I was Medusa and I would pretend to walk down the street, look at men and turn them into stone. And that was a fantasy game I would play with myself. So, my dominant energy has always been there from the very beginning. And then as a teenager, I discovered I wasn’t alone in it, which felt amazing. I grew up very open around sexuality and kink so it wasn’t a big deal.
Then once I left my parents’ house, I already had a pretty good amount of teenage kink play, which was not very boundary [driven] with not in very safe containers but I learned about the power dynamic.
As an adult, I started to develop it more and I learned about safety and consent. I started going to kink parties in New York City and then from there I worked professionally in kink as a dominatrix. I was dominant until a year and a half ago, but she stopped working professionally as a dominatrix about 9 years ago.”
What led you into making the decision to be a professional dominatrix?
Genevieve: Honestly, I was 18 years old living in New York City and I was strapped for cash. I couldn’t pay for college, or food or rent, or anything. And my partner at the time was like, “you are really great with your dominant energy” because we would play in bed. And she was like, “I saw an ad so you should go check it out.” I [answered the ad] and it felt like I fit in. Some of the friends that I met there, this was 10 years [ago], we still talk regularly. They’re incredible people. There’s a few that are still pro- dominatrix, but most of us have moved on.
What was it like being a femme domme or did you mainly identity as just a dominatrix?
Genevieve: The way my dominant energy shows up is [that] she tends to be pretty masculine. I had a long-term slave for years and he used to call me Master because my energy was so masculine that it actually fit better than Mistress. But to answer your first question, yes, I was a fem domme and I consider myself female, but I played in the androgynous space.
But for me, [being a dominatrix] was an absolute reclamation of every piece of me that had been harmed, broken or hurt in the past. So, every part of me that felt like she wasn’t allowed to stand up for herself, every part of me that felt she wasn’t powerful or worthy, I got to play in the opposite energy. This was important for my nervous system to embody because I started to learn I have a right to say what I want and I had a right to ignore someone if I didn’t like them.
The dominant energy is very nurturing [because] you are nurturing your submissive [partner]. The key is to ask yourself “What does the submissive want and how can I help them?” But in that, you still get to play in this energy of what society feels like is powerful.
Before I became a dominatrix, I was really shy. I let people walk all over me and I had no voice. I was completely detached from my anger. I had no idea where it was because I bottled it inside of me all the time. So I suffered from a lot of things like eating disorders and drugs. I was literally crippling into myself so learning that outward expression of dominant energy allowed me to shift it so that I wasn’t holding [anger] in my body anymore.
I honestly owe a lot of my business success, my success in parenting and my success in relationships to the experience I had as a dominatrix. There’s just a level of self-awareness and self-empowerment that I don’t think I would’ve had otherwise.
What are some pros and cons people should consider if they want to play with a dominatrix?
Genevieve: So, I’m really against any drugs or alcohol in play because the play stimulates the nervous system. The reason that my brain and my body like kink so much is what it does to my nerves. It’s like an adrenaline rush.
So, if [a dominatrix is] drinking or using any drugs (synthetic or natural) and I’m playing [with them], then I can’t quite read my own signals and that’s when I’ll hurt someone, or they’ll hurt me.
Another thing that makes it not so great is when there isn’t a conscious container set up ahead of time. When I was a professional dominatrix, we had a checklist with a list of 75 things on it from spanking to humiliation to corporal punishment to health concerns and they would just check off what they were in the mood for and anything else they needed. [This way I] could decide whether I wanted to take the client.
It was a very consensual practice. Nowadays when I play [as a domme] there’s just a conversation.
It’s usually a long phone call [because] I take my play very seriously. I’ll have a long conversation about
“What has been some of your [kinks] in the past?
What are some things you really didn’t like?
What are some of the things I should watch out for?
What are some of the things you really don’t want or really do want?”
So that we can make sure we’re in alignment. The worst thing is being in a scene with someone who isn’t in alignment with you.
Another one I would say, and this happened a lot when I was a professional dominatrix was that there [would] be a safe word, but a lot of [submissive’s] didn’t use it because [they] weren’t used to saying no. So, it’s important to learn [what’s] a no in your body so that the dominatrix can take care of you. If the no isn’t clear, then it gets foggy and mistakes happen. If [mistakes] happen, stop and have a conversation to heal whatever came up.
But learning “no” in your body is key and you can do it on your own. You can start to notice throughout the day when you don’t want to eat something or don’t want to go somewhere and be like, “oh, my body’s a no” [because] that’s the same feeling when you’re in a scene. You’ll get the same “my body is a no for that.”
What ways can people practice kink safely and responsibly in their relationships?
Genevieve: The key [is] clear communication – not just with the person you’re playing with but with your own body. Knowing your no and knowing your yes is important in terms of safety. If someone is just now stepping into playing [as a domme], let yourself take a little bit at a time because what can happen is [you] can blow out [your] nervous system if it’s too intense.
So, I know everyone wants to rush right in but just do a little at a time [because if you don’t], you get something called a contraction afterward. We call it in the kink world a “top drop” or a “sub drop.” It’s when you go into feeling “Oh my God, why am I so depressed” and it’s because your nervous system expanded so much. [So] check in and make sure you stay in your body. Ask yourself, “Can I feel my feet right now? Am I actually here?” Because [sometimes] kink [can] have us dissociate [from] our bodies. So, take your time, step back and breath.
Earlier you spoke about how you embodied dominant energy as a pro-dom and how it helped you reclaim your personal power. How can people embody their dominant energy to help them do the same?
Genevieve: Clients of mine [have] goals to be more confident, but they have no idea how to get there. The answer is always embodiment. If you embody [dominant energy] then your body knows how to do it. Your mind doesn’t really have to. You [can [practice] within a very sacred container in a BDSM scene or do it on your own.
You then teach your body what it feels like to step up into that space. When I was starting out as a pro- dominatrix, I would feel how my body felt when I was in session and I would try to mimic that as I walked down the street. I do the same thing now with surrender because my edge is now on the submissive side.
So, when I’m tied upside down, I take an energetic photograph of my body [to remember] how it feels in my heart, my chest, my legs, and my head. And then whenever I feel like I’m trying to control things in my life, I remember what that feels like and my whole body relaxes. So, it’s the same thing in dominant [energy]. Whenever you feel like you want that sense of empowerment or confidence, just remember what your body feels like when you’re in [a scene] and then you got it.
* To get access to our “Embody It” classes, you’ve must be a member of Erotic Freedom Club (EFC), our monthly membership tribe. We’ll open enrollment for our Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough™ Course a couple times a year (next opening is in February 2019) and you get 3 complimentary months in EFC when you enroll.
Genevieve’s classes will still be posted in the group when you enroll next month, so you can join the fun then.
*Disclaimer: The linked resources in our content are not associated with Jaiya, Inc. or our affiliated organizations in any way. We do not vouch for the veracity of their information or any claims made in their offerings. Please always do your own research.