A smile so all-consuming it hurt, spread across my face.
I could feel my turn on, my wetness, instantly when he walked in the room.
Like a magnet, I was drawn to him. Electricity coursing through my body as we came together, passionately embracing and locking our lips.
The sex was instinctual, deeply connected and easily orgasmic.
This was how it was for Ian and me for the first year and half of our relationship.
Like most new lovers, Ian and were full of passion for each other.
We lit up like this every time we came together.
We had a baby and the recession hit.
My hormones crashed!
I’d gone from sex goddess to new mom
Ian’s stress and overwhelm tanked his testosterone.
All of the sudden sex was painful. Ian lost his confidence and desire for sex.
Over the three years, a chasm grew and our passionate love was turning to resentment and hopelessness.
I had 1 ½ feet out the door.
I was about to end a relationship with a man I deeply loved because I couldn’t see how we could meet each other’s needs.
Have you experienced the disappearance of passion in a relationship with a lover who used to drive you wild?
You don’t have to have experienced huge life shifts to have magnetic attraction dim or die.
There are biochemical cycles that create this lessening of desire, there is a time in all relationships where your once “perfect” partner’s shine begins to tarnish and fade.
Once potent sex, where anything you did with a lover had you writhing in ecstasy, turns stale or boring. It may even become a total turn off and begin building resentment that your lover no longer knows how to please you.
It doesn’t have to be this way!
I thought Ian and I were done. I was certain of it.
I was a sex educator who knew every technique in the book. In fact, I’d written three books at this time in my life, and I couldn’t get my partner to be turned on by me.
I’d come to bed, put my hand on his cock and he’d roll over away from me saying how tired he was.
He’d come to bed and cuddle with me and I’d think, “Great, we’re going to sleep and no sex again.”
I’d literally cry myself to sleep night after night.
What I didn’t get at that time was we were both crying out for connection and intimacy, but we were speaking different languages.
We were still deeply in love with each other but completely lost, because we didn’t know what we didn’t know.
I was just beginning to uncover the Erotic Blueprints™ in my work with my clients and all of the sudden the distance between Ian and me was becoming clear.
I was approaching Ian from my Sexual Blueprint.
Grabbing his genitals was my form of “foreplay.” I couldn’t understand why a man was not an instant “yes” to my approach.
I was instantly ready to get down to business and have some orgasms in order to relax and feel loved.
Come on, let’s get it on!
When Ian would come to bed and cuddle, he was approaching me from his Sensual Blueprint.
He needed connection and relaxation before his body was ready to open to sexual stimulation and intercourse.
My other primary Blueprint was Energetic, so I was sensitive to everything. A lack of presence or certain touches that were too fast, too deep or too aggressive could create instant shut down and even resentment.
“You don’t see me. You don’t understand my needs.”
And Ian’s other Blueprint was Kinky. I didn’t get this one at all. In fact, I didn’t include it in my Erotic Blueprints for years, because I didn’t understand it.
I was judgemental of Kinky Sex, but for Ian, edge, and taboo could create instant turn on.
There were deep layers to Ian’s arousal that were unexpressed because there was fear and shame in revealing these parts to me.
He was highly sexual but not in a way I knew how to serve.
Learning each other’s language of arousal was a total game changer for Ian and me!
Passion we thought dead, was revived.
The amazing connection we experienced in our early love life, was turned up ten fold, because now we were truly been seen and honored by each other.
We were learning to feed, speak and heal each other’s Erotic Blueprints.
The intimacy was off the hook, in ways neither of us had ever experienced.
I’d found a piece of the Holy Grail of lasting turn on and renewable passion.
A language to help lovers accurately and specifically articulate their sexual needs in a way where they could actually be met.
I starting using Erotic Blueprints™ with my clients and the results were often immediate and miraculous.
Misunderstandings and resentments blossomed into deeper connection and hotter sex.
Each Erotic Blueprint has specific turn-ons and turn-offs. There is a light side to each Blueprint and shadow pieces that put the breaks on arousal.
This has become such a deep and effective system and the foundation of my work.
It’s so powerful that it’s the foundational course that I offer all my clients, Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough™ Course, and I’ve now trained close to 100 coaches in this methodology.
I promise you, that when you learn to speak, feed and heal your own and your lover’s Blueprint, you will be open to a whole new level of pleasure and connection.
We open up our Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough™ Course two times a year, so get on our mailing list, if you’re not already.
Get started right away by taking The Erotic Blueprint Assessment to learn about your Blueprint(s).