Our sexuality can be complex!
When it comes to your turn on, are you always raring to go?
Maybe at some stages of your life, you’ve had a raging libido and you felt so much aliveness and desire.
Other times, not so much 🙁
Achieving sexual satisfaction can be confusing enough without dealing with all the ups and downs of an ever-shifting erotic appetite!
So what’s the solution?
In my work, I have set out to give you (and myself) a comprehensive map to this mysterious world of our own desire, tools to decode the mysteries and give you access to all the passion you desire.
Along the path, I have uncovered several powerful truths.
I’ve seen over and over again how my clients will have an expectation that they should be a certain way and, if they are not, something is wrong!
They are broken!
I’m here to assure you that, no matter where you’re at, you are not broken. You are whole and complete and you are enough!
Can you let that sink in, or do you need some convincing?
There are several pillars to supporting an erotically expressed and sexually vital life, and I incorporate all of them in the Erotic Blueprints™ framework.
The 4 main pillars of the Blueprints are:
- Understanding your Erotic Blueprint™ Type
- Learning to speak, feed and heal the Blueprints
- Understanding the 4 obstacles (or pathways) to optimal sexual wellness and pleasure
- Knowing which of the 5 Stages of Sexuality you are currently in
It’s the 5 Stages of Sexuality that I’d like to introduce you to today.
If your sex life isn’t all that you desire right now, you can beat yourself up about it, or you can get present to what you really need and give that to yourself.
What you desire may be very different than what you need!
As you’ve heard me preach many times, awareness is the first step to creating real and lasting change.
And knowing what Stage of Sexuality are you in right now can give you compassion for yourself and a place to begin your journey of sexual wholeness.
The 5 Stages of Sexuality:
The Resting Stage: If you are in this stage, you may be in a sexless relationship, taking a break from sex by choice, are still a virgin or you are craving sexual satisfaction but have cut off all sexual activity.
You may be craving a sexual connection that either you once had or have never experienced. You find yourself wondering what happened to your sexuality. You are most likely seeking a greater sense of connection, intimacy, and passion.
You can also choose to be in a resting stage. Maybe you just had a breakup and feel you want to take some time in between relationships before getting involved again sexually. Or perhaps you want to take a break from sexual activity, which could make sex hotter when you’re ready to indulge.
The Healing Stage: If you have experienced a physical injury, emotional or psychological trauma, the Healing Stage may be your current need.
It’s time to take a step back and get aware of the injury, understand how the trauma is affecting your sexual health and vitality and your ability to connect with yourself and others.
It’s time to seek the help you need.
If it is a physical injury or trauma, get appropriate and knowledgeable help to heal. Scar tissue, hormonal imbalances, recovery from surgery all have pathways to recovery.
If the trauma is emotional or psychological, this can be a time to seek out a sex-positive therapist familiar with trauma, find a healthy sex-positive community for support and/or find a very skilled coach.
The Healing Stage often needs time and lots of compassion for yourself and others.
The Curious Stage: If you’re in this stage, you’re out to learn as much as you can about the things that interest you.
You may be asking lots questions, reading books, attending workshops or simply looking at the wide world of eroticism with newly opened and receptive eyes.
This is a perfect time to be looking into Erotic Blueprints™ and discovering everything there is to know about each of the Types.
This is the information gathering stage and is often what comes right before…
The Adventurous Stage: When your Adventurous, you’re out there doing it. You’re claiming what you desire and taking steps to get it.
Whatever you’ve been curious about, now your diving in.
If you wanted to try different positions with your lover, you’ve been curious about sex parties, kinky sex or the turn-ons of one of the other Erotic Blueprint™ Types, this stage is all about taking action.
And last but not least there is…
The Transformational Stage: When you’re in Transformational, you’re seeking “what’s more” to sex.
You may be desiring ecstatic, transformational and spiritual experiences so sex is about transcendence, meaningful intimacy and connecting to the divine.
Great opportunities for you if you are in this stage would be studying the sacret sexual arts like Tantra or Taoist sexuality.
The Stages of Sexuality are not hierarchical!
Each of these stages has powerful rewards and benefits.
There is no stage that is better than any other.
Your work here is, to be honest about what stage you’re in right now and what stage you’d like to be in. Often they are not the same.
Be compassionate with yourself, if you desire to be in a different stage than the one you’re in currently.
Honor where you are, because it’s what you need.
Your stage can change because of the partner you are with, it can change due to shifts in age or hormones.
There are endless factors that can affect what stage you’re in.
And know that you could be in every single stage in the course of a single day or a single sexual interlude.
Knowing your stage and weaving this information in with knowledge of your Blueprint Type can give you incredible access to sexual fulfillment because you know what you need when you need it?
What Stage of Sexuality are you experiencing right now?
What Stage of Sexuality do you want to be experiencing right now?
Honor what you need and seek to expand to where you want to be.
Until next time …
Fill your life with pleasure,