Is Seeking Help With Your Sex Life Shameful?

by Jaiya

“The View” Judges Julianne Hough For Her Work With Erotic Blueprints™


This week, the Erotic Blueprints™ hit the media! Wow!!

Julianne Hough, a brilliant actress and dancer, known for her work on Dancing With The Stars, courageously shared how understanding her Erotic Blueprint™ helped to “save” her relationship.

Articles appeared in “Oprah Magazine Online”, “The Talk” – about 15 minutes in, “People”, “Yahoo”, “Good Morning America” and many other media outlets.

“The View” even featured the story as their “Hot Topic” on Tuesday and mentioned the Blueprints probably 20 times in 4 minutes. Wow!

But here’s the thing.

The View had a great opportunity to empower and educate people about sex.

Instead they judged Julianne for needing help with her sex life only 2 years into her relationship, acted like talking about sex was something celebrities shouldn’t do and they displayed ignorance about Erotic Blueprints, because they didn’t have any knowledge and had done no research about what Erotic Blueprints are.

There’s no such thing as bad press, or so the saying goes…

I’m so grateful and excited to have the Erotic Blueprints mentioned in mainstream media and I just want to take a moment to set some things straight.

First, Julianne Hough is a brave, brilliant woman.

Learning about sex early in a relationship, knowing your own Erotic Blueprint type and being able to communicate that to a lover, educating yourself and working with a Sexuality Educator, Coach or Therapist is a smart way to go!

Why not be proactive and preventative in relationship?

Do we really want to wait until things take a downhill turn?

Why not start things off with skills and knowledge so we’re all having amazing intimate connection right from the start?

This is like preventative medicine for your love life.

Nothing needs to be wrong or broken. And I believe that shaming people and judging others for having a sexuality coach or therapist or learning more about their sexuality only perpetuates the suffering we experience in this area.

Way to go Julianne for

  1. taking the matter in your own hands and learning your Erotic Blueprint and…
  2. For sharing your story and your journey with others publicly! This conversation is going to help so many people.

We need to start talking about sex.

I truly believe that the media and public figures have an opportunity to uplift this entire conversation.

Imagine that instead of snickers, giggles and embarrassed shut down, there was a grounded, real and adult conversation about this topic.

Instead of shaming someone for speaking about this, we open up and normalize talking about sexuality, getting education sexually about what turns us on. What if we made pleasure a conversation that is comfortable.

There was a missed opportunity to take this deeper and empower the world.

I truly wish that the media would have researched before sharing about this story.

They didn’t fact check and they didn’t even know what they were talking about.

Many of the articles spoke about the mystery “Sex Therapist”.

I’m actually not a therapist. I’m a Somatic Sexologist trained with the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality with over 20 years in this industry.

It’s amazing to me that they would say “Erotic Blueprints” a dozen times on The View but have no idea what that means.

Here’s what I want you to know.

You are not broken.

There is nothing wrong with you.

There is nothing wrong about educating yourself about sex, understanding what turns you on and having a pleasure map that allows you to share your desires with your lover(s).

There is nothing wrong with seeking out help from a Sexuality Educator, Coach or Therapist.

In fact, it shows that you care about your relationships and sexuality and you’re preventing challenges that may happen down the road.

There’s nothing wrong with talking about sex and sharing your story publicly. As a matter of fact it helps to change the conversation and empowers others.

It’s not that you have to share your private details or share at all, but don’t shame or judge others for it.

If I have never shared my story, think of all the people who would have never grown, healed or transformed their relationships.

One of the reasons why we feel so broken and alone in this area is because we don’t talk about sex.

It’s been one of my goals to create a conversation and community around sex so that we no longer suffer in isolation.

And if you are new here, just finding your way to the Erotic Blueprints™, be sure to take The Erotic Blueprint Quiz to take the first step to discovering an erotic language that helps you articulate what you love, so you can get more of it.

There are 5 Erotic Blueprint Types, and each of us has our unique map of arousal and orgasm.

The Erotic Blueprints help you to understand what feeds you both inside and outside the Bedroom.

Free Masterclass

Too many people go through their lives never being fully fed and satisfied when it comes to sexual pleasure.

It’s time for that to change, don’t you think?

Ian and I head into celebrating our 12 year anniversary this weekend! I credit the Erotic Blueprints as one of our big secrets to success. We have a super hot juicy sex life and I’m excited to indulge during our anniversary celebrations!

So, to those of you in the media, to those of you who have a platform and a voice, I ask you please:

  • Let’s stop shaming people
  • Let’s stop with the snickers (yes, we can still laugh and make it fun and playful) but instead have a grounded adult conversation about sexuality and pleasure
  • Let’s get informed and raise consciousness around a beautiful act that brought each and every one of us onto this planet

Everyone is doing it, has done it or wants to do it (there are some who don’t and more power to you.)

We don’t need to judge, and we don’t need to shame.

And please, when you have an opportunity to empower and educate, let’s research and fact check to make sure we’re giving accurate information. Sexuality has been in the dark for far too long and it’s time we illuminate this sacred part of who we are as human beings.

To those of you feel called to up-level the conversation! Please, respectfully and gracefully, comment on The Talk’s video, share the Oprah Magazine Online article and other more deeply informed articles on Social Media.

Invite people to learn more!

We’re grateful to each and everyone of you who have already done so and who are contributing to this conversation. It doesn’t happen overnight, but every step is a step towards Conscious Erotic Freedom for the world!

With love,


“Our compatibility has gone through the roof…how to be pleased. How to ask to be sexually pleased. How to please you (your partner) sexually. How to experience not only the orgasms we were already having and the ecstatic pleasure that we were already living, but now to have it magnify and multiply and go to whole new levels. It feels like we’re starting our relationship again!“

Satyen and Suzanne Raja

Embrace what has been buried and shamed in your body for thousands of years.

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