Your Erotic BlueprintTM isn’t carved in stone.
It shifts and moves and changes with the environment you’re in, a change in partners, the state of your emotional, mental, and physical health and the changes or traumas you’ve experienced.
Your secondary or tertiary Blueprint can become your primary.
That’s just the facts.
Someone who was once a Kink may find themselves feeling lost or confused when life happens, stripping away that need to be bound and gagged and trading it in for the need to cuddle and light some candles more than they need a hot scene of control and surrender.
Someone who is normally a Shapeshifter may suddenly find themselves no longer desiring endless indulgence in every form of sexual play, because the stress of raising kids or caring for an aging parent has left them trying to fulfill someone else’s needs, leaving them with no energy or desire to fill their own cup.
Maybe someone who was once and Energetic has found themselves completely detached because of a trauma that has left them wondering why in the hell they’re still here and no desire to express their sexuality the way they used to.
These things happen.
Acceptance that your Erotic BlueprintTM has shifted is the first step.
It’s okay to say, “Hey, you know? I don’t think I’m really into a candle light dinner, soft music, and feeling your breath on my neck tonight.”
Attaching to our Erotic Blueprint as our identity can be a trap, as much as learning our primary Blueprint can give us access to wildly satisfying pleasure.
They are a representation of what stage we are in physically, emotionally, mentally, hormonally. And they help us to understand what gets our juices flowing so that we can most fully experience and express the part of us that is completely natural right here and right now.
So if what USED to pull you in with a magnetism doesn’t do it for you anymore, that’s okay.
You have not lost Self.
You are not broken or wrong.
You have not abandoned who you are.
You have learned and seen that there’s a disconnect going on… and that means you have a responsibility to reconnect. To YOU.
What has changed?
What are you feeling right here, right now?
What is going on in the outside world that has changed for you inside? Have you let yourself get so busy that you’ve lost contact with your turn on?
Have you experienced a trauma that needs to be healed?
Give yourself an afternoon (or 7) and dig in. See where you’ve become disconnected.
Create the re-connection by listening to yourself, to what you want and what you need.
Connect with your partner or a close friend whom you trust, see what they have to say about what has changed in you, as they have experienced what’s going on with you (sometimes we can’t see the bush for the shrubs, right?).
Take time to discover and uncover what you need right here and right now.
You may discover you really haven’t shifted Erotic BlueprintsTM, but are just in the thick of something that is pulling your attention away from YOU.
Or you may find that what arouses you is different than what it used to be.
Maybe now it IS the soft music, erotic words, and candle light that is turning you on right here. Right now.
Maybe now it IS the thought of your lover with another and witnessing the delicate touch they share with another, vicariously knowing how that touch is turning them.
Maybe now it IS the seething heat of candle wax sliding down your hips as you raise yourself into your lover.
Play! Discover your turn on anew. With reckless (almost) abandon.
Allow yourself to connect with the Erotic BlueprintTM that IS where you are right now. And celebrate the shift.
There was nothing there to lose. There is simply more to discover!
Now… go have fun playing in a new zone of erogeny, like a teen who is just discovering themselves for the first time!