(IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT THIS BLOG: When writing about authentic erotic and sexual expression in this article, I am referring to conscientious, consent based intimacy between aware, educated and informed adults.)
This is Ian.
Let me introduce you to Puddles and Angus.
(All photos in this Blog created by Lindsey Miller www.wildlyvisible.com)
Angus the King! Powerful, Beneficent, Certain and an Evolved Lover of the Highest Order
Puddles the Shameless Slut! Completely Free in Her Sexual Expression and Claiming of Desires. Playful. Full of Delight, Joy and Gratitude. Open Hearted. Loves To Be Admired.
These are two of Jaiya and my Empowered Erotic Personas™.
These Personas are aspects of ourselves that we once buried away or denied expression to due to shame, judgement or traumatization that we experienced at some point in this life or lives past.
This inciting incident may have had us take on the belief that some aspect of our expression, some essential part of us was bad, wrong or would get us in trouble so…
….Best to sweep that little piece under the carpet so no one will see!
Yes, developing your Empowered Erotic Persona can and does free up sexual energy and incredible sexual expansion. The process can allow you to claim and embody parts of your authentic sexual expression that you’ve previously abandoned. This can create a greater freedom to explore sexuality.
The Persona work does all of this and much, much more!
Angus brought my King alive in me.
I had grown up with the view that the masculinity expressed all around me was toxic.
I didn’t want to be that jerk! Expressed sexual desire was abusive in my world view. That was an embodied belief for me.
I dismissed the clarity, certainty and power of my Yang nature.
Now, feeling Angus fully in my body, in my thoughts, sensations, emotions and visions, I could embody his beneficent power, integrating and incorporating his energies into every aspect of my life.
I experienced huge leaps in my leadership, my work life, my parenting, ownership of my desire and claiming what I crave without shame or childish attachment.
This was a right of passage, where I got to claim a piece of my adult manhood. My leader. My King!
I now have all of Angus’s superpowers available to me at any moment.
I have integrated Angus, and this has been a powerful gift.
When it comes to your s£xuality…
How expressed are you?
How free do you feel?
How confident?
Satisfied?
What part of yourself have you left on the bench in this game of life?
Shoved in the corner due to the fear of being judged.
Hiding your true desires from others because you once were shamed for them.
Shamed for being the playful, erotic creature that you are.
What if we all felt free to BE our TRUE SELVES?
If you’re hiding, can you imagine that your lover may be hiding their juiciest parts from you too?
Don’t you want your lover sexy, raw and real with you?
Exposed, vulnerable and blown open to shared heartgasms of intimate transcendance?
That’s the juice of life! Yes?
Playing in the sand box of pleasure is one of life’s greatest gifts. Why do we hide our true natures from each other?
Our sexual creativity and playfulness, when released, is infinite.
And this creative, rejuvenating power provides such sustenance for our lives.
Let’s get raw and real!
You’re not hiding what you think you’re hiding anyway.
If you’re suppressing parts of your inner, authentic self, these parts of you are probably leaking out through ‘interesting’ behaviors and beliefs in your life.
For instance, if you don’t feel safe to express who you are, there are probably little or big ways you may undermine the sense of safety that the people in your life feel around you.
I know that’s one way it showed up for me in my life.
I would take sarcastic jabs at friends as a weird form of getting and giving love. A toxic way of bonding. I only know about this because my friends were authentic enough to let me know that this behavior didn’t feel good to them. I am forever grateful for their honesty.
The vow I made when I got divorced…
Once I was married.
That marriage failed in large part due to my sexual ineptitude and lack of confidence.
The vow I made when I got divorced:
Bring my full presence to my intimate relationships!
Be willing to truly see and accept my lover for who they are and expect nothing less than their willingness to see and accept the true me!
I knew that the parts of me I was hiding were responsible for my divorce.
I had stuffed myself in a little box when no one had asked me to do it. And I boxed myself in because I judged those parts of me and thought if I expressed them I would lose love.
The truth: I lost love because I put myself in that box.
How can I let someone love me, if I don’t love myself. Truly!
When my marriage ended and I was clear about my role in my marriage’s demise, I became steadfastly committed to being compassionately, fully and authentically expressed.
I was committed to revealing my most intimate self to lovers, being radically honest with them and to finding out who they were at their core.
Intimate, Vulnerable, Raw and Real!
I’m not sure where I picked up the importance of presence, but it’s what I knew I lacked when it came to seeing my lover fully and fulfilling their needs.
Presence was the key to becoming a masterful lover!
(I’m not claiming to rock every lover’s world. I do hope every lover I have is being honest with me about their pleasure. That’s the only way I can truly learn what turns them on. And I know now that I am a forever student of erotic artistry. I will never know all there is to know. I am pleasure’s humble servant)
My journey of presence, authentic expression and intimate truth lead to me to the greatest adventure of my life.
It lead me to my forever love, Jaiya!
Together we have explored the deep corners of our pleasurable possibilities.
We have practiced Sexy Sex Labs: exploring with scientific accuracy our turn ons and turn offs. Building a vocabulary of arousal triggers for each other.
We indulge in Adventure Dating™ (For one such adventure, Jaiya sent me alone to New York city on a 3 Day treasure hunt of Kinky adventures that culminated in a surprise session with a pro-dom who had a quarter million dollars of bondage equipment in her studio. She new how to use it too!! OMG!!).
In the exploration of my Empowered Erotic Personas…
I’ve found my dark lover…
My Dionysian god… Transcending through pleasure and indulgence!
And Marcus Aurelius, my kinky master of ceremonies!
He so loves to wind up all the kinky kitty cats (his word for humans who like to play kinky games) and watch them play!
He’s the provocateur who encourages you to be the wickedest, sexiest kitty cat that you desire to be.
Marcus is a blast to play with, but he’ll only play with you if you consent fully and freely to the game!
(By the way, Marcus will be hosting:The Erotic Persona Ball at “Path to Passion Live” this year!! The Ball will occur on a full moon on Halloween Evening. You may want to book your ticket, my dear!
Another powerful aspect of integrating Erotic Personas is the behaviors that once leaked out in your life can be brought to consciousness. This can help to end neurotic, harmful behaviors and help you adopt the positive characteristics of these aspects that once hid in the shadows. Shame hides and can grow dark tentacles into our lives when it remains in the shadows.
Bringing your shadows consciously into the light frees you from their dark power. Brings health to your sexual system and helps to end the legacy of sexual trauma expressing and recreating itself on this planet.
Acknowledging and accepting our true natures as social, sexual animals, allowing ourselves to consciously explore our curiosities and turn ons opens the door to sexual wholeness
Doing all of this experimentation and growth in a conscientious and consensual container is essential.
Learn to declare your boundaries and hold them.
Learn to find out other’s boundaries and honor them!
This consent based exploration helped put an end to the suffering and sexual incompetence that caused so much pain for me and my lovers in my life.
Full Presence!
And…
Compassionate, Authentic and Full Self-Expression
These are two pieces that made the big shift possible for me.
Give them a whirl and see what happens to your life.
(WARNING: when you commit to these as guiding principles and practice them in your life, things could get messy for a little while. You are ‘practicing’ after all. It might be awkward for you. Another thing, people in your life may want you to go back into your shell. Get support for you and your truth. It’s time for You to BE YOU!)
Fill your heart with love and your life with pleasure,
Ian
p.s. There is a 6 week “Empowered Erotic Persona” Video Training” that you get as a Bonus, when you enroll in our £rotic Blueprint Breakthrough™ Course
