Remember when Justin Timberlake came out with his hit song, “SexyBack”?
I don’t know about you, but I’d sing it and feel so confident even though I was too young to entirely understand what he was saying. Lol.
But now that I’m older, I realize how challenging it can be to maintain feeling sexy consistently.
Whether it’s work, family, the weather or societal pressures, there are times when we don’t feel our sexiest.
Regardless of if you’re single or in a relationship, you can find ways to bring the sexy back in your life. Here are 6 of my favorite tips to help get you started.
Create a Sexy Playlist
I LOVE to listen to a playlist with all my favorite sexy songs when I need a pick me up or an extra boost of confidence.
I’ll listen to it when I’m home alone, walking down the street or in transit as I travel to my next destination (with headphones of course).
This playlist can also double as your sex playlist or when you engage in foreplay, but I think it’s great to listen to on any occasion when you need to feel sexy in your skin.
Do a Health and Vitality Check-In
Take time to assess your health and vitality.
How are you feeling physically? Do you think your hormones could be out of balance? How often are your moods changing? How are you energetically?
As Jaiya has asserted, the Physical, Chemical, Emotional and Energetic aspects of the human experience can be obstacles (or gateways) of health, vitality, and pleasure.
If you assess these areas more often and take holistic approaches to get on track, you may be able to jump-start your sexy quicker than you anticipated.
As you get better at being your own “Sexual Detective” you can notice the warning signs before your turn on wanes and keep your sexual vitality on track before it falters.
Make pampering yourself a priority – As we say, “Put Pleasure First!”
A little tenderness and self-care can go a long way!
Compassion for your emotional ups and downs gives you the love where you know you can always get it – from yourself.
Caring for your beautiful body with a massage or hot bath with essential oils can make a world of difference.
You likely do so much for others that it’s important to take care of yourself.
Think about it as a way to revitalize and re-energize yourself so you can be ready to take on the world no matter what – did that motivate you as much as it did me?
Look in the mirror (naked)
One of my favorite things to do to make me feel sexy is to sit in front of the mirror naked and look at myself.
I put music on, add essential oils to my diffuser, and start caressing my body – even the parts of my body that I criticize.
If you’re highly critical of your own body, one trick to break this harsh habit is to find one spot on your body that you love. It can be a tiny little area if that’s all you can honestly say you love.
Focus on this spot, relishing in its beauty and giving it pleasure. Then gently begin to expand this pleasure zone of your body and include more of you in this practice of self-admiration.
Your body is a miracle, whether you recognize it yet or not.
After this self-love practice, I feel tingly and happy and have a big smile on my face.
Move your body
I have gone out dancing with friends after feeling overwhelmed at work and out of touch with my body and whew did I feel a difference.
I put on an outfit that makes me feel yummy, go to a party and dirty dance the night away. And I. Feel. Amazing!
Moving my body to music I enjoy helps me get out of my head and back into my body – and that’s where the magic happens.
If dancing isn’t your thing, take a pole dancing class (S-Factor is a great place to start – it’s pole dancing with women only). Or try a yoga class or find a workout that fills you with energy and makes you feel unstoppable.
Because it’s that important, I’ll add it again – Put Pleasure First!
I used to think that pleasure resided only in the bedroom.
But once I learned about the Erotic Blueprints™, I started viewing pleasure as a constant and fluid experience that can take place whenever and wherever I choose.
If I’m stressed out at work, I can step away from my desk and do a pleasure practice.
Here’s one Pleasure Practice you can try:
My favorite Pleasure First practice is stretching while I close my eyes as I contract my pelvic floor muscles and breathe in and out.
When I’m really overwhelmed, I gently tug my hair during the practice to feed my Kinky Blueprint.
Afterward, I’m present and ready to continue with my responsibilities for the day.
Your Pleasure First practice doesn’t have to look like mine, but it’s a game changer to prioritize pleasure and incorporate pleasure practices into your daily schedule.
Knowing different resources and options that are available can help you be more confident in your sexy.
There have been times when I’ve felt alone in my eroticism, but once I found out there were others who shared my kinks or that there was a name for my specific interests, I knew I had found a place where I felt fully seen and sexy.
For me, this place is our Erotic Freedom Club. It’s our community where all consensual sexual desires and practices are accepted and celebrated. It’s a place where we can get raw and real about everything to do with sex and find empathy for our struggles and celebrations for our expansions and victories.
There are other sex-positive communities out there. I’d recommend finding one that works for you.
And I’d highly recommend keeping your eyes peeled for times when enrollment is open for the Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough™ Course. This course reveals all the layers of eroticism and pleasure available to help you make your sexy bounce off the charts.
I can’t stress enough how important it is to embrace your journey.
Sometimes giving yourself the grace to explore your needs and desires can be exactly what you need to get your fire going.
No matter what route or methods you take to get your sexy back, remember that feeling sexy is an energy.
So, cultivate it, embody it and own it.
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