Conscious Self Pleasure – A Path to Sexual Wholeness

by Jaiya

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How much pleasure can you stand?

How free are you to experience pleasure from your entire body, or a lover’s body?

Do you feel cut off from pleasure, maybe you’re even detached, numb or you dissociate when playing with pleasure and connection?

Or maybe you feel great about indulging in your own body but you crave more!

What thoughts and feelings come up if I said you need to dedicate 30 minutes a day to Conscious Self-Pleasure rituals?

Do you think:

  1. OMG, Yes! That’s awesome. I’m in!
  2. Interesting? What would be the point?
  3. That’s indulgent. I don’t have time for that.
  4. OMG, I would never!

Or do you feel feelings like:

  1.  Excitement
  2. Nervousness
  3. Anger
  4. Sadness
  5. Fear

All of these reactions are completely fine. You are not wrong or broken if you choose one over the other.

The #1 option in these responses indicates you’re likely already an erotic explorer, feel safe to experiment and great about indulging in your own pleasure. You’re probably deeply fed by your own sexuality, and perhaps you just want more.

If you desire more pleasure but your answer wasn’t the first choice, then perhaps what you need is permission to indulge in pleasure.

I wave a magic wand and I give you that permission now. I’ll also let you know that there are many benefits to weaving sexual pleasure into your life:

  • A longer life – studies show up to an additional 3 years added to your lifespan if you are having sex at least 3 times a week
  • Lower stress
  • Looking younger
  • Stronger bonds with your lover, friends, and family
  • Better hormonal balance

I could go on.

So, if you want more sensual delight and orgasmic experience in your life, what’s stopping you?

Do you want it?

If you want it, you have to commit to it and make a plan for your success!

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There are so many factors that can cut us off from our own pleasure:

  • Physical injury
  • Trauma
  • Shame
  • Inherited cultural or religious beliefs
  • Not knowing what to do or what’s even available

There are many other factors to add to this list, so feel into your inhibitions and get to the root of what’s blocking you from erotic expansion.

Begin the sexual healing process!

One practice that has been fundamental to my own sexual healing and expansion is the practice of…

Conscious Self-Pleasure

This is different than what most of us do around masturbation.

Masturbation tends to operate as a personal quick fix. Our fastest route to orgasm and/or ejaculation. It’s often done in hiding and as quickly as possible.

Conscious Self-Pleasure is using intention to set a container for conscious and extended erotic exploration, sensation awareness and expansion.

This practice, if done consistently, can make available more of your body to you.

Conscious Self-Pleasure is often not goal oriented. You are not there to get off. It may not even be pleasurable at all. You may find deep emotions are stirred, you may discover that you don’t feel anything in certain areas of your body.

This practice can provide sexual healing and get you on a path to sexual wholeness.

I’ve got a challenge for you!

Commit to a Conscious-Self Pleasure Challenge!

  1. Commit to a 30 minute per day Conscious Self Pleasure session (to make it an easy win, you can go with 10 minutes).
  2. Commit to doing this for a number of days in a row. I recommend a 30-day challenge, but make this as easy for yourself as possible, if you’re freaking out. Commit to 7 days or 5 days. Just commit to something.
  3. Put it in your calendar

Things you will need:

  1.  Set an intention before every session. Example: “My intention is to explore my body and be present to the sensations I am experiencing”
  2. A space to indulge
  3. A notebook to journal about your experience
  4. A timer (you don’t want to be distracted by looking at a clock and thinking about the time)
  5. Any toys or sensation implements that may serve your intention for exploration

The practice is not about getting anywhere. It is about discovering and honoring your body. It is about owning your own pleasure and giving yourself permission.

Are you worth it?

Your body and mind may not feel you are worth it.

I know you are.

And this practice is a powerful way to train your nervous system that you deserve pleasure.

One of my greatest mentors in the realm of Sexuality is Joseph Kramer. He has a process he calls Orgasmic Meditation. His process is this process of Conscious Self-Pleasure.

I highly recommend you look into his work at

And if you are looking for inspiration for what to do during your self-pleasure sessions, I did a project called 101 Days of Self-Pleasure!  And you can find it on YouTube right here!

“Our compatibility has gone through the roof…how to be pleased. How to ask to be sexually pleased. How to please you (your partner) sexually. How to experience not only the orgasms we were already having and the ecstatic pleasure that we were already living, but now to have it magnify and multiply and go to whole new levels. It feels like we’re starting our relationship again!“

Satyen and Suzanne Raja

Embrace what has been buried and shamed in your body for thousands of years.

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