“At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet.” ~Plato
I sometimes think I am the most fortunate woman in the world.
I seem to attract lovers who have one amazing skill in common: the exquisite use of their hands.
Yes, I love their cocks, their mouths, and tongues; I love looking into their eyes and feeling their bodies on top of me, but nothing compares to those ten-fingered, God-like artists.
I find that the best lovers are those that use their hands to mold and sculpt my pleasure with the care and attention of Michelangelo.
What’s the secret to their success? Read on to find out.
It all begins with touch skill and fine-tuning your touch skill begins with the presence of mind.
Trust me on this one… your thinking can affect the quality of your touch.
Let me say it so it is crystal clear now… Great touch begins in the mind.
If you are off thinking about all the bills you have to pay, worried about the cellulite on your thighs, who might be winning the baseball game or what you ate for dinner; chances are that your touch is not going to feel all that great.
But if, instead, you can hone in and notice how your partner’s skin feels against yours, the temperature, and the change in texture from spot to spot, notice subtle changes in hair and touch just the hair, notice their breathing, your breathing.
Look for signs of arousal, like hip movement and listen for sounds of pleasure.
Remember how deeply you feel about them and let it come through your hands to create that perfect moment of connection. Then you are well on your way to mastering your touch talents.
Touch skill can also be developed by what massage therapists call palpation. Palpation is the ability to feel and examine with your hands. During lovemaking, you can develop the skill to pick up on subtle changes in your partner through your hands.
- Do they have goosebumps (which I like to equate to an erection in the hair follicles)?
- Does their skin suddenly become warmer as arousal builds?
- Do they respond to light touch or firm pressure or both?
A great way to increase the sensitivity in your hands is to practice feeling a hair through a page in a book. I recommend placing a hair beneath one page and seeing if you can feel it, gradually increase the number of pages that you can feel the hair through. It may vary from finger to finger.
Yet another important factor to great quality of touch is variety.
I find that often lovers get stuck in a rut; they repeat the same patterns over and over again. But what most people don’t realize is that when we are creative and trying new things, it actually stimulates our sexual energy.
So, find ways to ignite a creative fire and break free from sexual habits that aren’t serving you.
When I am with a lover I try to find at least six different qualities of touch.
My skin aches for variety. I like fast, deep and indirect touch. But I also like touch that is light, slow and direct.
The following are qualities of touch that I teach both my lovers and my students. I recommend trying them on yourself and then experimenting with a partner. I encourage trying these all over the body, especially on the genitals.
GLIDE- Light, Direct and Slow
PRESS- Heavy, Direct and Slow
THRUST- Heavy, Direct and Fast
DAB- Light, Direct and Fast
FLOAT- Light, Indirect and Slow
FLICK- Light, Indirect and Fast
SLASH- Heavy, Indirect and Fast
RING-Heavy, Indirect and Slow
After using a little creativity take the time to “map” the erogenous zones of your partner’s body. Erogenous zones are usually most turned on by a light and slow touch, but every single body is different.
As you work with your lover ask them on a scale of 1-6 (6 being most pleasurable) where each place on the body and each touch falls on the scale. This will create a pleasure map that will allow you to arouse areas of the body that are often ignored but can lead to a build-up that causes deeper more intense orgasms.
Remember that sex involves the entire body, not just the genitals.
During lovemaking find ways that you can enhance the experience through touch.
Can you stroke her clit during intercourse from behind? Or can you gently tease his testicles while he’s beneath you?
Finding ways to incorporate your hands into lovemaking can greatly enhance the experience for both of you and turn sex into a full-body, orgasmic, joy ride.
To me, creative quality touch is the biggest turn on. I experience longer lasting and deeper orgasms as well as a more intimate sense of connection. It is a must when it comes to taking sex to a new level of artistry.
And, of course, if you’re committed to true mastery, learning all the types of touch that turn on each of the Erotic Blueprint Types is essential.
Learn your Erotic Blueprint Type and take our Assessment here!