How great does it feel to achieve a goal? That feeling of satisfaction for so many of us is unparalleled.
On the flip side of that, how often does it happen that in achieving that goal, it seems like you blinked and a long period of time in your life has just passed you by? Maybe you’ve even experienced the grief that can occur when “losing time” as a result of this level of single-mindedness.
Welcome to the world of the Sexual Blueprint™ shadow! What likely makes the Erotic Blueprint™ framework different from others out there is that its applications go far beyond the bedroom.
In so many ways, our world conditions us for a Sexual Blueprint approach not just inside the bedroom but outside of it. Sexual Blueprints tend to be very direct and to-the-point in their communication and this is so much a part of how many of us navigate daily life. In our goal and action-oriented approach to living, we can often miss out on the pleasure of the journey to our desires. Similarly, in the bedroom, the shadow of the Sexual Blueprint is that in the pursuit of orgasm, they can miss out on the pleasure available to them all along the journey to the orgasm.
The Sexual Blueprint also tends to be what we’re taught sex is in our culture. There can be a limited definition of sexuality when seen solely through the Sexual Blueprint perspective – that sex needs to involve penetration, genitals, nudity and eventually an orgasm in order to “count.” Sexual Blueprints not only love but need that certainty that sex is going to happen and that they’re going to reach that orgasm; to them, orgasms are the sign that sex was “successful.” As such, they can leave their partner’s Blueprint out of the mix because of their focus on the orgasm, whether or not that’s something that’s important to feeding their partner in their Blueprint.
Another shadow of the Sexual Blueprint is with how shame can show up. Those assigned “male” at birth (AMAB), or who have been socialized to be men, are typically socialized to be Sexual Blueprints both inside and outside of the bedroom. Shame can show up when this isn’t actually what’s showing up in their bodies. They can feel misunderstood if they find themselves being more Energetic or Sensual. Those assigned “female” at birth (AFAB), or who have been socialized to be women, tend to experience shame a little differently. In particular, they tend to be shamed for being overtly sexual and labeled as a slut. People of all genders who are Sexual Blueprints can experience shame if their partner(s) aren’t as sexual; they can feel like an imposition on the less sexual partner or that their needs are too much.
Shame for as it applies to the Sexual Blueprint isn’t limited to intimate experiences. When it comes to the pursuit of a specific goal in life, single-minded focus on achievement is often praised in our world. Dogged hard work, even to the point of burning out and extreme neglect of our own self-care, is celebrated. When we don’t fit that mold of being highly driven, we’re told we won’t be successful on our chosen paths. Shame can rear its ugly head when we’re unwilling to go at a fast pace, when we “fail” to achieve our goals and even when we prioritize our self-care by slowing down!
So what could happen if you could shift the goal? What if you could make pleasure itself the goal?
What if you challenged yourself to experience as much pleasure as possible all along the way to whatever you’re trying to achieve?
Since we each have all of the Blueprints within us, what a fun experiment it could be to honor and feed each of the Blueprints within you to create a pleasure-filled life as you ecstatically make your way to whatever goals you may have for yourself!
Here are just some suggestions to help you on your pleasure path:
Energetic: Create spaciousness for you to just be; this could look like something as simple as clearing your schedule of items that are simply not a priority.
Sensual: Indulge in the pleasures of all of your senses. Taste your food. Feel the texture of your clothes on your glorious body. Smell the roses. See the beauty of the blue sky. Hear the wind in the trees.
Sexual: Harness all of that sexual energy in order to get stuff done in a way that feels good to you.
Kinky: Go against the rules that have been made for you, explore the taboo and make the rules that work for you.
Shapeshifter: Mix it up and include all of the Blueprints in your practice. Play within the different Blueprint Types to see how and if your needs vary from day to day.
Whether the goal is orgasms galore or making a million dollars this year, consider challenging yourself to follow all the threads of pleasure along the way.
You can always still have your happy ending… in more ways than one!
Have pleasure goals you need to achieve? Then join us in The Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough™ Course!
This comprehensive course will guide you on your path to pleasure and will grant you Premium access to Erotic Freedom Club, our sex positive community of humans who are bringing sexy back to their lives both inside and outside of the bedroom. This is the place you can connect with others who are on this journey right alongside you, get your questions answered, and even gain support on the twice-monthly Pleasure Mastery calls with our Certified Erotic Blueprint Coaches.
However, we know that the fear and shame that hides in the shadows can typically make an appearance when making this decision. If that’s the case and you’re serious about healing these shadows and reclaiming your pleasure, book a call with one of our Passion Liaisons; we’ll be happy to answer any questions you may have and support you in making the decision that’s right for you.
Here’s to happy endings!