About 8 years ago I stopped setting personal goals. I had already broken up with New Year’s Resolutions and I was burnt out on hustling for the sake of achieving. I was hungry for a way to grow and get to new levels without emptying myself in the process.
I learned about a book, and process, called The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte and it resonated so deeply with me that I never set a personal “goal” again. This isn’t to say the concept of setting goals is a bad idea. I simply needed a new approach.
The framework that Danielle LaPorte provides is based on the concept of identifying your Core Desired Feelings. By staying in alignment with these feelings, you create the outcomes you desire. You are not chasing an outcome, you are setting tracks toward a desired outcome and staying on the tracks by staying in the desired feeling.
“Your core desired feelings are how you want to feel most of the time; your preferred states of being.”
– Danielle LaPorte
If you desire an amount of money in your bank account, what is the feeling that having it would provide? If you want a level of physical fitness, what is the feeling that having it would provide?
It’s the act of staying in the feeling, or adjusting to get back to it, that makes the journey to the goal one of filling your cup instead of burning through it.
Now comes the “How” part of staying on track with the feelings. Yes, it still takes effort. This is where the skill of Feeding your Erotic Blueprint™ really shines. These two methods work together so well!
Feeding your Erotic Blueprint is a way to fuel the Core Desired Feelings.
If you do not yet know your Erotic Blueprint, you can find your Blueprint Type™ here with our In-Depth Erotic Blueprint Quiz©, and learn all about Feeding your Blueprint in the Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough™ Course.
Feeding your Blueprint is an important skill whether you are single, partnered or poly. It’s fundamental to knowing and caring for your erotic self. It’s how to create vitality for yourself in a sustainable way.
We feed our Blueprints by first knowing what works for us based on our Blueprint Type (Sensual, Sexual, Energetic, Kinky, or Shapeshifter). When you know your Type, you can more easily dial into what fills you up.
As a Shapeshifter, I want it ALL! But not always all at once…
Understanding this helped me understand myself deeply. It cleared up the shame I had about wanting “too much” or feeling confused when I had to choose just one thing. I’m multifaceted, full of desires, and capable of spanning multiple tracks. I can’t be fit into one. I move between them all. For me, this feels like freedom.
And, it means I have a responsibility to myself to feed my Shapeshifter Blueprint so I don’t show up to the people, places, and roles I have in my life with an empty cup.
One of my Core Desired Feelings for 2023 is Vitality. To keep my vitality fueled I need to actively feed my Blueprints. This is how I stay on track and in alignment with the feeling of vitality. This is how I go from concept to implementation.
The desired outcome for me is to be in the feeling of vitality most of the time. And this is where it becomes unique to each person. What feeds me and makes me feel full of vitality may not be the same for you.
I feel full of vitality when I eat foods that delight and energize me. I feel full of vitality when I break a sweat during a workout and have the stamina to go a little longer. I feel full of vitality when an orgasm ripples through my body with pleasure and my heart is racing.
The list of Core Desired Feelings I created when I first started working with the framework looks much different than my current list.
More importantly, by knowing how to feed myself and fill the cup of my desires, I’m able to stay in the resonance of my CDFs more of the time. I’m not burned out. I’m actually turned on more by my life and where I’m headed, just by being me.
We are all complex beings with a wide variety of desires, preferences, and lifestyles.
What brings you pleasure is the map to your unique make up. It’s like a cheat code for being you.
One of the things I love most about The Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough is that through doing the Course I learned my own cheat codes for pleasure and fulfillment. Now I bring that to all parts of my life, in everything I do.
I invite you to explore yourself and your Erotic Blueprint as you set intentions for the coming year. What an amazing way to bring in a new year!
Amanda Monk (she/her) is a Transformational Coach with certifications in Erotic Blueprint™, Emotional Clearing, The Spiral, and a Reiki Master. After 20 years in the corporate world serving organizations and leaders as they navigate change, she created her own practice and balances coaching and consulting. She specializes in shining a light on the shadow aspects to bring healing, confidence, and transformation in any area of life for her clients.
In organizations, she brings order, communication, community, and strategy during times of growth and change.
She is a mom to a rambunctious 7-year-old, loves coffee, car karaoke, and exploring the outdoors.