“Foreplay begins at the end of the last orgasm”
~ Esther Perel – Couple’s therapist
We LOVE this quote by our colleague and friend, world-renowned therapist, Ester Perel.
Building anticipation and desire in relationships is essential to keeping things hot.
We see foreplay as one of the most powerful tools to keep passion burning bright.
But you’ve got to use the right type of foreplay for each Erotic Blueprint Type, or your efforts to tantalize your lover may fall flat or even turn them off.
In this blog, I’ll share a few Blueprintified Foreplay ideas to help you succeed with your partner, no matter which Primary Blueprint they are.
Jaiya and I have created many tools to cultivate hot, magnetic attraction and intensify polarity so our relationship gets deeper and more fulfilling the longer we’re together.
We don’t let our sex life happen by default.
We design our sex life.
We’ve created and we practice…
- Sexy Sex Labs: Where we take the guesswork out of understanding what turns us on and off. The Sex Lab is a process where we explore a hypothesis about our pleasure and gather information – free from criticism or agenda. So empowering and playful!
- Adventure Dating™: We use The Passion Trifecta™ – Mystery, Obstacle, Novelty and Naughtiness, to craft surprising and electrifying dates that keep us deliciously on edge with anticipation and desire
- Sex Life Challenges: Where we choose something we want to explore in our eroticism and sexual connection and we map out a plan to explore this new erotic territory. This keeps things fresh and new, no matter how long we’ve been together
- We guide you through all of these practices and much more when you join Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough™ Course and become a member of Erotic Freedom Club
Foreplay is one of the most delicious, nourishing and empowering tools we use throughout our daily lives to keep things juicy.
Now for Blueprintified Foreplay 101
TRIGGER WARNING!!! Some of the language you find below may not appeal to you. You may even find it offensive or triggering.
These reactions are a sure sign that these sexting suggestions do not appeal to YOUR Blueprint Type.
We’re fond of saying, “Don’t yuck someone else’s yum” (we think we got this phrase from sex educator Pamela Madson, but we’re not 100% of its origin).
You may not like some things that other people absolutely love.
You also may be surprised that you get turned on by a phrase or word that you intellectually think is negative or offensive, but your body lights up when you read it or hear it.
The erotic mind is full of surprises.
Using erotic language to tease your lover, to create anticipation and to turn them on, is one of the easiest and most playful forms of foreplay.
There are many forms you can use for sexy talk:
- Writing poems that entice your lover
- Writing erotica that you share with your lover
- Leaving notes that hint at something naughty you’re going to do to your lover or give them in the bedroom
- Sexting – quick erotic hints, teases and taunts to drive your lover wild throughout the day
But, if you use words and phrases that aren’t the right fit for your partner, it can easily go wrong.
If you approach an Energetic Blueprint Type™ with sexual language, i.e., “I can’t wait to rip your clothes off when I get home tonight and screw your brains out,” your energetic lover may actually contract in fear and disgust.
The Energetic Type needs tons of safety, space and anticipation. They may even want your intimacy to have a spiritual element. Talk of aggressive sex may make them freak out and even feel resentful instead of lit up and turned on.
Here are examples of Blueprintified Sexts that can work for each Blueprint Type:
Energetic: “I feel our eternal energetic connection and my desire rises. I can’t wait to gaze into your eyes tonight, our hearts beating as one, as we merge in the cosmic dance of union tonight.”
Sensual: “I crave your delicious warmth. To swim in the crevices of your skin, feeling the pulse of your passion as we melt into indulgent pleasures between the sheets tonight.”
Sexual: “I can’t wait to fuck you tonight. Feeling your wetness (or “your hardness”) in my hands, as we ride endless waves of orgasm!”
Kinky – Dominant to Submissive: “When I walk through the door tonight, have the ropes laid out. I expect my property to be properly bent over the sofa, naked and prepared to receive me. Any naughty deviation from my instructions will receive swift punishments. Do you understand?”
Kinky – Submissive to Dominant: “Mistress, I await your orders. I am here for your pleasure. How would you like me prepared for this evening’s pleasures?”
Shapeshifter: “Tonight our souls shall merge as I devour your silky flesh with nibbles and bites. You’re mine and you will submit for my pleasures. As I penetrate you, we will climb the heights of orgasmic ecstasy.”
Understanding what words turn you on, what words turn your lover on, is an art.
It takes practice, it takes exploration and it takes a willingness to get it wrong and not criticize, shame or blame one another as you discover what works.
Increasing your erotic intelligence and your sexual confidence can be accelerated by getting skilled guidance and support.
In The Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough Course we have an entire module dedicated to “Speaking the Blueprints”. This module gives you fun games and practices to learn how to speak the language of your lover’s Erotic Blueprint and to discover your own turn-on words and phrases.
Speaking the Blueprints is even more than just words and phrases.
Getting congruent in your body language, your vocal tone and how you say what you’re saying, is all part of becoming a masterful lover.
Again, you only get better by playing and practicing.
As Esther Perel advises, “Foreplay begins at the end of the last orgasm.”
We hope you’ll start using Blueprintified language as a powerful foreplay tool to keep things hot and to build desire between every intimate, orgasmic experience.
Fill your heart with love and your life with pleasure,
Ian, Jaiya and Team Pleasure