Have you ever heard that opposites attract? A common misconception that many of us infer from this statement, assuming we’re not talking about physical magnets, is that we have to be solely on one end of a particular polarity at any given time. The truth is that there is so much variance to the human experience and so much room for movement between poles. While we can feel at home at one end of the spectrum or the other, it’s a complete myth that we have to stay there. We each are composed of masculine and feminine, light and dark, certainty and uncertainty, and even organization and disorganization.
The scope of this article doesn’t allow for an in depth exploration of all polarities; in light of Pride Month and the discussions we’ve been having regarding gender/gender identity/sexual orientation over here on this blog, we will focus on the often misunderstood masculine-feminine polarity.
Masculinity and femininity aren’t inherently linked to gender identity, although our society often makes the association that men are meant to be masculine and women are meant to be feminine. Any deviance from this social rule is usually met with some sort of assumption regarding the person’s sexual orientation – that a more masculine woman or a more feminine man indicates an orientation that is not heterosexual. The truth is that we have masculine and feminine qualities within each of us. When these qualities are fully integrated, we get to be much more intentional about how we show up in the world.
The very definition of a polarity is that each concept has an opposite. In this case, the masculine is the active force. This is the energy of linear thinking, assertiveness and directness. In its high form, the masculine supports the feminine by providing a container for feminine flow. In its low form, the masculine can be aggressive and harmful to the feminine and/or the planet.
The feminine on the other hand is flow, emotionality and receptive force. In its high form, this energy supports the masculine in its active mode. In its low form, femininity can show up as criticism, lacking direction and being stuck in passiveness.
When these polarities aren’t integrated within us, we can experience a lot of internal conflict. These energies actually get to work together and are most powerful when they do. If you think about how the masculine and feminine might operate together, the empowered masculine would be the solid banks of a river and the feminine would be the running water flowing freely and just as powerfully within that structure the masculine provides. One is not better than the other; in fact, both are needed in order to support the other. In the analogy of the river, the masculine without the feminine is just dust and dirt without life; the feminine without the masculine is a flood – water flowing everywhere without direction, leaving death and destruction in its wake. When the two work together, we get to experience the beauty and life of the flowing river.
It’s worth asking yourself the question: if you were to assign a percentage, where do you feel that you are on the spectrum between masculinity and femininity? Where would you like to be?
If you’re happy where you are, that’s cause for celebration!
If you find you might want to make a shift somewhere, consider the following questions:
- Are my structures so rigid that they keep me from reaching optimal flow state?
- Where can I provide myself more space for creativity?
- Do I completely lack structure and systems in life and work?
- How might I strengthen the structures I already have in place to benefit me and my creative direction?
Remember – you have the opportunity to leverage your masculine and feminine superpowers for optimal living… independent of what society tells us we should be!
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