The Erotic Blueprints™ are a way of giving language to eroticism. Most of us immediately hear the word “erotic” and immediately start thinking about sex. Eroticism is simply our life force energy, meaning it’s something that’s ever present for us in all aspects of our lives. Just as in the five Love Languages, however, if we’re not speaking the language of those we love, the other person can’t hear us.
This applies to our relationships with our children. If you have more than one child, you may think that you’re showing love equally by giving them the same type of affection but if that affection is not in their language, it’s possible they’re not receiving it the way you intended.
We sat down with Amanda Monk, Certified Erotic Blueprint Coach and Mistress of the Erotic Freedom Club, to talk with her a bit about how the Blueprints apply to parenting – in a nonsexual way of course! The following is not meant to be a comprehensive parenting guide but rather to provide you with some tools for seeing how the Blueprints can actually help you raise the next generation without the hangups many of us have as adults about our pleasure and our bodies.
Use your powers of observation of how your child naturally acts and responds in the following areas and you’ll likely leave with an overabundance of clues to your child’s Blueprint!
How does your child ask for and respond to affection? A child who prefers your presence in the room but not necessarily a lot of touch may be more Energetic. A child that loves hugs and cuddles might be more Sensual. A quick hug followed by a desire to return immediately back to whatever activity is before them could be a sign of a Sexual Blueprint.
“I was [an Erotic Blueprint] coach in training and was in that place of seeing the Blueprints everywhere when I had the realization that my son was pretty consistently asking for affection in his Blueprint,” Monk says. “He would ask me for tickles… and in that game, it started coming out that he enjoyed me having to wrestle his arm to get into his armpit.”
The above interaction led her to the conclusion that her son is Kinky; signs of the Kinky Blueprint in a child might look like this pushing of the edge, as in the case of wrestling to tickle the armpit. A love of back scratches could be another indicator of the Kinky Blueprint in a child.
Play is another area where the Blueprints make themselves known. Does your child prefer the spaciousness of outside or having lots of alone time? These are signs of an Energetic. A Sensual may prefer toys of a specific texture and arrange them in a way that’s pleasing to their eye. A Sexual might be highly competitive, wanting to be the fastest runner and win whatever game is being played. A Shapeshifter child may have multiple forms of play going on at the same time. A Kinky might be interested in really knowing the rules to a particular game, whether with the intention of following each and every one of them implicitly or with the intention of breaking them.
“It’s just a part of child development that children want to push and test boundaries,” Monk says. “I began to recognize it’s my son’s nature to find the edge and want to push them. For him, there’s play in that. He’s not being disrespectful or misbehaving; it’s play and a constant testing for safety.”
Another place to observe your child in determining their Blueprint is how they eat. Do they need a lot of time and space to eat their meal? They may be Energetic. Do they savor every morsel and maybe demonstrate curiosity about how the food was made and the plethora of flavors in every bite? These are indicative of the Sensual Blueprint. Do they tend to eat quickly? That’s a sign of the Sexual Blueprint. Do they dom themselves into eating their vegetables… or do you see a playfulness about them when looking for your response if they don’t eat their vegetables? They could be Kinky!
If your child is of the age where they’re picking out their own clothing, clues to their Blueprint are everywhere. An Energetic child may prefer clothing that fits loosely, providing freedom of movement. Sensual Blueprints may have a preference for specific textures; they pay special attention to how their clothing feels on their bodies. If your child prefers the freedom of no clothing at all, you might have a Sexual Blueprint on your hands. A Kinky Blueprint may enjoy playing with constriction via a belt or waist ties.
“[My son] prefers things with waists that have ties,” Monk explains. “He wants the waistband to be knotted and secured and wants to be able to tie the knot himself.”
It was actually in this area where Monk noticed a secondary Blueprint show up in her son – his Sensual Blueprint!
“If there’s a tag in any clothes, it must be removed because he doesn’t like the feel of that on his skin,” Monk elaborates. “Texture and comfort trump how it looks. He also very much cares that his clothes match!”
How do you know if your child is a Shapeshifter? You may notice that your child’s desires and needs vary from day to day or even moment to moment. You may see them oscillating between all of the behaviors outlined above. The important thing to remember here is that it doesn’t mean you’re getting it wrong; it simply provides you with an opportunity to let your child lead by asking for what they want, just as with all of the other Blueprints!
How can you best get the understanding about how to parent by the Blueprints? “Gain an understanding of your Blueprints first; then notice the places where your child is doing things similarly and differently from you,” Monk advises.
How you see the Blueprints outside of the bedroom in your life is how it can show up for you when it comes to engaging with your child. When a child is in a space where they feel comfortable and safe to be themselves, they’ll show up with innocence and reveal their preferences and Blueprints by asking for what they want.
Are you ready to live the Erotic Blueprints? The Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough™ Course is open for enrollment! This is the pleasure-based education you never received growing up… and your life gets to be absolutely rife with all that brings you joy and freedom.
Saying yes to this course means you not only get over 70 video trainings, but you have the opportunity to be coached by our well-trained Certified Erotic Blueprint coaches twice a month on the Pleasure Mastery calls.
Plus, you’ll gain premium access to Erotic Freedom Club, our sex-positive online community where you can get your questions answered, connect with other humans who are doing with work right alongside you and have a safe place to go when things get tough or when it’s time to be celebrated!
However, we understand that this isn’t always an easy decision to make. You are not alone; we have been there. If you’ve wanted to take the leap but would feel more comfortable having your questions answered by one of our Passion Liaisons, book a call; they’re here to help you make the choice that’s right for you.
But if you already know you’re a yes to your own erotic freedom, join the Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough Course today!