Knowing and understanding what turns you on (and it’s not always what you think it is, by the way – take the Erotic Blueprint™ Quiz to find out!) means you know and understand how to take your eroticism and make it your superpower.
When you are erotically in tune with yourself, you have the ability to call in the hottest sex of your life.
And to BE the hottest lover around!
The 5 Erotic Blueprints are the keys to not only understanding your own sexuality, but being able to ask for what you long for (without shame, guilt, or embarrassment), and knowing how to please anyone you’re with.
Your Blueprint doesn’t always align with your partner’s at every juncture…you might be in alignment when you first hook up, but then shift as you grow. Or you could be going through a temporary phase that pushes you farther apart on the map.
Either way, that distance can become a source of frustration and resentment.
What if our Blueprints aren’t compatible??
Does that mean if you are an Energetic in the Healing phase and your partner is a Kinky in the Curious phase that you two have to call it quits??
Does it mean that if your partner wants to play with fun toys with you, but you’re not actively seeking that particular source of pleasure and aren’t comfortable taking part in it that you are doomed as a sexual partnership?
Not at all.
It means that you have to make amendments for the time being so that your sexual lives fall into the harmony that you seek. The sexual harmony that you crave…that brings about mental and emotional peace.
The good news is it’s simple to strike a balance when your Blueprints are out of step.
Three things you can do to align out-of-step Blueprints:
- Open the door for conversation.
The path that seems to always lead where you want it to go is conversation. Communication. Listening. And being heard. So if you are finding that gap in your needs and your partner’s, sit down and talk it out. Set a timer with the intention of listening without judgment or rebuttal. And let them do the same. Once each of you has been really heard, you can look for solutions.
- Find common ground.
Sometimes it just seems like the Grand Canyon splits you right in two when it comes to your relationship(s)…sometimes it just SEEMS like that. So when you’re feeling a little disconnected and you’re in different phases, dig deep. Find out what places you do have in common, instead of focusing on the dischord. Just because you seem to be in separate places, doesn’t mean there are no similarities that you both can’t feed off of.
Sometimes compromise is the name of the game. The key to compromise is making sure each person is on board with the terms of the agreement before settling on a solution. It may mean that you take turns playing within each partner’s needs so that each feels they have their time to be the focus and be fed.
And these three steps really do apply to more than just finding a space where there are mismatched or temporarily out-of-step Blueprints.
If you’re feeling like you’re not being heard, then speak up…in the end, you may find that having multiple Blueprints and phases at play in your relationship(s) opens up a lot of doors for way more fun!