There are always lots of questions that come in regarding orgasms.
Many people access orgasm easily and many can’t ever seem to get there.
If orgasms are elusive or you just want more, more, more, it may be time to open up the menu of orgasmic possibilities and expand your range.
No matter what genitals you’ve got, you’ve got lots of orgasmic options.
For the Vulva Bodied Folks Out There…
I get emails similar to this one all the time…
Dear Jaiya,
I have a wonderful and romantic husband. We have been together for nine years. This is what frustrates me….I have trouble achieving multiple orgasms with him.
I get so sensitive after an orgasm and he is ready to go on 3, 4, 5x or more! How can I achieve multiple orgasms?
I am 44 and feeling like maybe it’s just not in me. Hate that my husband is like the energizer bunny!
Thanks L
Dear L,
Okay, I have a few questions. What kind of orgasm are you having?
Is it a clitoral orgasm? What part of your body get’ “too sensitive”? Is it your clitoris?
If you are having a clitoral orgasm and your clitoris is getting too sensitive, then you can start looking at what’s going on from there.
I liken a deep clitoral orgasm to an ejaculation for a man, for some vluva bodied folks it’s the point of no return.
We feel a dip in arousal, we get overly sensitive and we lose interest in continuing on to the next orgasm.
If you want to go for multiple clitoral orgasms try this.
Go almost to the point where you are about to have an orgasm, say if 10 is your big orgasm then stop at 9.5.
Stop all motion and notice what happens. Let the excitement settle back down to a 6 or 7.
Take a breath and resume. Build again. Stop again.
Repeat this at least three times.
This is how I learned how to have multiple clitoral orgasms and vaginal orgasms. When I stop, I will have an orgasm, but it isn’t taking me over the edge into too much sensitivity.
If you do experience your big orgasm, rest for a few seconds (10-30).
Then try indirect stimulation to your clitoral shaft. The clitoral shaft is different than the head of your clitoris, which you see externally and which is the place we speak about when stimulating it for orgasm.
The shaft is connected to the head. It is an internal part of the clitoris.
You can locate the shaft by feeling around the head. It’s harder than the head, maybe even feels like a knob or a ligament.
So to stimulate it indirectly – do so through your labia.
You can do this to start building towards orgasm again. The sensitivity of directly touching your clitoris will decrease and then you can move to more direct stimulation to the shaft and head of your clitoris.
Keep in mind that there are many different types of vulva bodied orgasm.
If your clitoris is too sensitive after you cum, you may want to go for a g-spot orgasm or ejaculatory orgasm.
If your entire vulva gets too sensitive after your orgasm what about moving to nipple stimulation.
Did you know that you can have orgasms in your nipples? Yep, it’s true.
By bringing your erotic focus on other areas of your body, you can open up the channels to…
- Energetic orgasms
- Full-bodied orgasms
- Laughgasms
- Throatgasms
- Anal orgasms
- And Nipplegasms
Cultivating your orgasmic range can be a process of self discovery, aided by lots of self-pleasuring and playing with all the different styles of touch and using touch from every Erotic Blueprint™ Type to find your arousal and turn on.
As for your husband being an energizer bunny, is he only interested in intercourse or is he up for other activities?
Does he have difficulty having orgasms, or is he multi-orgasmic? Is he the one who wants you to have multiple orgasms?
I ask this last question because I see a lot of women who want to perform certain sexual feats, for their husband and not for themselves.
This is like swimming up river instead of flowing with the stream.
Are you trying to match your husband sexually?
The biggest advice I would add is to find a variety of sexual activities to do as opposed to just intercourse.
Good Luck on Your Journey!
Jaiya
For the Penis Bodied Folks Out There…
Yes, there’s a multitude of Orgasms available to you too!
Joe sat across from me with his eyes wide and exclaimed “You mean I can have different kinds of orgasms!?!”
He’d been coming to see me to help with his premature ejaculation issues, but through our work together he was starting to see that male sexuality, especially in regards to orgasm, has a lot more to it than he’d thought.
Like most cock bodied folks Joe has been given a poor and inaccurate education around his sexuality.
Have you ever wondered if there was more to your pleasure than just a quick and powerful collection of muscular contraction expelling semen from your body?
I don’t knock ejaculatory orgasms, those are great. But what if I told you that it’s true, there is more to penis orgasms than ejaculation? Wouldn’t you want to experience every type of pleasure that’s possible?
There are many different ways to experience orgasm, but here are the 7 types that are easy to teach and experience, if you’re dedicated to exploring.
The Norm: Ejaculatory Orgasm
The Pulse: Non-Ejaculatory Orgasm
The Many: Multiple Orgasms
The Total: Full-Body Orgasm
The Anal: Prostate Focused Orgasm
The Wave: Energetic Orgasm
The Combo: Combination Orgasm
Since most people are most familiar with “The Norm”, I want to give you a tip for training yourself to experience some of the other orgasms on this list.
Training Tool #1
Breath
The next time you are making love to either yourself or to a partner, check in with your breathing.
Are you holding your breath?
Are you breathing rapidly?
With attention and awareness note what your breath does as you get more aroused. If it speeds up and gets shallow try slowing your breath and keeping it deep.
Breathe in and out of your mouth as opposed to your nose. Notice how your breathing affects your pleasure.
Breath is important because it can help you to delay ejaculation, train you to be more aware of tension in your body and it’s a catalyst for moving sexual sensation throughout your entire body.
Contracting Your Pelvic Root While Holding Your Breath
Transmutation Breath is a powerful key to unlocking otherworldly pleasure and alternative types of orgasms. (This works no matter what type of genitals you have)
As you edge the peak of your pleasure, that place where you would normally cum, stop all motion, draw in a big breath and hold it, and simultaneously contract your pelvic root (your pelvic bowl, the area between your scrotum and anus).
Hold that contraction as long as you can, and right before you can’t hold it any longer, take a sniff in through your nose and then release.
Spread whatever sensations that arise through your entire body and, in this moment of stillness, simply feel.
Then repeat!
Build arousal and edge the orgasm.
Then do the transmutation breath again.
You can do this over and over again.
You may find you begin to move into erotic trance.
This practice can be done solo or with a partner.
You can also begin to cultivate orgasm in different parts of your body. When you release the breath, play with giving pleasure to parts of your body that you normally ignore. Softly touching your lips, the insides of your elbows, your anal rosebud – any area you want to wire for more pleasure.
You may be very surprised by the powerful sensations that arise in places that never felt deep pleasure before.
You may expand your idea of what Orgasm means.
Practice this awareness and these techniques along with the belief that anything is possible when it comes to your orgasms and pleasure and you’re on your way to experiencing the vast erotic possibilities available to you, no matter what body type you are.
Fill your life with pleasure,
Jaiya
