What Happened When I Revealed My Naughty Little Secret

by Jaiya

As a recently Certified Erotic Blueprint Coach™, my mission is to help women (especially women of color) advocate for their needs, desires, and boundaries, because they deserve to do so. In the era of the #MeToo Movement and #WhyIDidntReport, I have my work cut out for me.

I became a Certified Erotic Blueprint Coach™ this past summer. But it wasn’t easy! I had to get raw and real about my passion for sexuality AND figure out a way to come out as a sex coach to my friends and family after keeping this secret for so long.

While I’m only three months into being a licensed sex coach, I’ve learned a lot about coaching after revealing my naughty little secret.

Although I’m passionate about my mission, I didn’t realize the nuances of what it takes to be a coach. Since I’m so new to the industry, I had to courageously step out of my comfort zone and it wasn’t easy.

I had to get raw and real about my passion for sexuality AND figure out a way to come out as a sex coach to my friends and family.

Talk about feeling pressure! As someone who’s an open book, this was my first naughty little secret to reveal, but I gained so much after finally letting my secret out.

My biggest gain so far is getting to help people transform their relationship with sex one session or workshop at a time. So, if you’re thinking about becoming a coach, but you’re still on the fence, I want to share with you three things I learned after revealing my naughty little secret.

1. Turning self-doubt into personal empowerment is essential.

Before I became a sex coach, my goal was to become a writer – but I was struggling! It was hard for me to find clients, so I took a day job that drained my energy. I would literally try to find excuses not to come to work.

Even though I would create blog posts on my personal site as a way to feed my creativity, I felt like something was missing.

I couldn’t put my finger on it until I realized I had an interest that was buried deep within…


I suppressed this part of me because when I would express my sexuality openly, I would get criticized for not ‘acting like a lady’ or people wouldn’t take my career ambitions seriously.

You can imagine the emotional trauma that resurfaced for me when I was contemplating becoming a sex coach. On top of that, I was trying to figure out how I would come out as a coach to my close friends and family.

People knew me as a writer, not a coach – especially not a sex coach!

I thought I needed permission from my friends and family to become a sex coach to minimize the anxiety and doubt I was experiencing. I thought once I had permission from the people I cared about most, I’d be ready to take the world by storm and shout that I’m a sex coach from the rooftops.

I was scared to open up about my true passions, to be seen for who I really am. But I mustered up the courage and finally, I broke the news. I even wrote a coming out post on my blog entitled A Naughty Secret I Finally Can Share.

To my surprise, my friends were very supportive. They also reminded me that the top topics I consistently bring up in conversation are writing and sex, so my decision didn’t surprise them. I even hosted a Ladies Night for one of my best friends, where I introduced the blueprints to her inner circle.

My family, however, specifically my mom, is still warming up to the idea. The first conversation we had, she asked, “what makes you think you’re qualified to become a sex coach?”


After diving a little deeper with my mom, I learned about her trauma and realized her statement was more about her and less about me. Now, we negotiate consent around talking about this part of my life, but she accepts my decision and loves me nonetheless.

Although I had so much self-doubt and anxiety about becoming a coach, I used those feelings as a catalyst to come out to my friends. For extra support, I took advantage of writing opportunities about sexuality. This has been and continues to be a deeply empowering practice for me.

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2. Coaching is not always glamorous, but it’s super rewarding!

Unlike what the internet may have you to believe, you don’t start out internet famous.

I saw so many coaches (unrelated to the program) on Twitter (and Instagram) with over 1M followers hosting webinars about how they made 6 figures that I thought I’d soon be in the rankings for the coveted blue checkmark.

That wasn’t the case. Surprise! 🙁

I quickly realized I had to do non-sexy logistical things, like marketing. However, when people started telling me that my work with them has helped them start healing sexual trauma or how a workshop I did helped someone understand how to communicate their needs to their partner better, the logistics are so worth doing.

3. Your community is your lifeline.

There will be times when you feel like giving up. There will be times when you wonder why you decided to even embark on this journey. There will be times when you want to shrink.

That’s why the community you surround yourself with is so vital to your success as an erotic coach!

While I have my own personal support group, I’m grateful I have my Erotic Blueprint Coaching peers.

I have big dreams for myself including a lucrative career that sets me on fire each and every day. But I keep coming up against blocks and letting fear paralyze me.

Thankfully, I have this powerful community of Erotic Coaches that believe in me and encourage me to keep going. I also get to see my erotic coaching peers achieve their goals, which inspires to do the same.

And Jaiya and Ian…

I couldn’t have asked for better leadership. Not only do they do a great job embodying ways to keep pleasure first as coaches but they also share their struggles and solutions vulnerably and courageously.

Never have I felt so empowered, grounded, inspired and protected in a professional (and personal) development setting. I’m ever grateful to be a part of this fantastic community.

Although I’m sharing my experience, please remember that everyone’s erotic coaching journey is unique. There are certified coaches who graduated from the Erotic Blueprint Coaching program like Kayce Neil who was once living paycheck to paycheck but are close to making 6 figures through their erotic coaching business.

There are also coaches like Joyce Olapido who have spiced up their sex life, which made it easier to break out of her imposter syndrome and take her business to the next level.

You can read inspirational stories from these and other coaches here.

While I cannot promise how your journey will look, I can confidently tell you the possibilities are endless. You just have to take a chance on yourself, trust the process and pursue your dream of becoming a bonafide sex coach.

So, if you aspire to become a sex coach, do it!

Enroll in a certification program and reveal your naughty little secret. Yes, you might be scared and yes, you may experience push back. But living out your happiness and purpose is what matters most – not the outside (or inside) chatter.

Believe in yourself and take the leap of faith. You got this!

About the Author

Chelsea A. Hamlet is an Erotic Blueprint Coach and a freelance writer who focuses on women empowerment, sexuality and freelance writing. You can visit her website at chelseaahamlet.com or follow her on Instagram and Twitter @chelseaahamlet.

Are you ready to take the world by storm and become a Sexuality Coach? Check out the Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough Coach Certification Program here!

There are 5 Erotic Blueprint Types™

Which One Are You?

“Our compatibility has gone through the roof…how to be pleased. How to ask to be sexually pleased. How to please you (your partner) sexually. How to experience not only the orgasms we were already having and the ecstatic pleasure that we were already living, but now to have it magnify and multiply and go to whole new levels. It feels like we’re starting our relationship again!“

Satyen and Suzanne Raja

Embrace what has been buried and shamed in your body for thousands of years.

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