I started my Tantric quest in my late teen years, just before entering a new decade life discovery.
I was drawn to Tantra because it was a spiritual path that allowed sexuality as a gateway to enlightenment. Instead of seeing the body as sinful or bad, it was a path that went into the body and celebrated it.
For many people sex is a spiritual experience, you can’t really separate the two. For others, sex and spirit do not belong in the same bed.
I was a very sexual and a very spiritual person so tantra was perfect for me.
I dove fully into the practices and still practice pieces of what I learned to this day.
Tantra is a spiritual path, but Tantric Sex can also be a gateway to some of the best sexual experiences of your life, with no “spirituality” required.
I want to stress the major difference between Tantric Yoga as a practice and learning Tantric Sex.
Tantric Practice is something that practitioners dedicate their lives to; it is a study, a discipline, a body of knowledge, a science and it uses sexual energy as a way to powerfully attain states of enlightenment.
If enlightenment isn’t your thing, but having a better sex life is, then elements of Tantric Sex can help you heighten your pleasure, prolong your sexual experience, and create more connection with your partner.
What is the difference between “normal” sex and Tantric Sex?
I knew the feelings in my body, but I also wanted to know the science behind why I felt the way I did after a good Tantric Sex practice with my partner.
I would leave these sessions feeling high as a kite, connected to something greater than myself and in a heightened state of sensitivity.
But this was not how I felt after a “friction” sex experience.
So as I was doing research on sex and the brain, I realized that the biggest difference between Tantric Sex and “normal” sex are the hormones that are released!
Let’s get a little geeky!
Do you ever wonder why you feel tired after sex?
Or maybe you feel distant from your partner after a great orgasm?
See, in normal sex, there is usually a high peak that suddenly drops off. That’s due to a hormone called Prolactin (more on that later).
During normal sex, you have a peek at the moment of orgasm that causes a hormone called Dopamine to squirt in a large dose.
Dopamine feels great and it’s highly addictive. Scientists liken it to heroin.
In order to balance the Dopamine, Prolactin is also produced. Prolactin is responsible for the refractory period (inability to get an erection again). It also decreases your sexual desire.
My theory is that Tantric Sex produces an entirely different hormonal response.
One of the big differences is that Tantric Sex slows everything down.
You might eye gaze (which produces oxytocin- the bonding chemical), stroke each other (more oxytocin), make love for longer periods of time, deep breathe and move sexual sensation throughout your entire body.
In Tantric Sex, you may stay in an aroused state for a very long time. This evens out the Dopamine peak and the Prolactin drop, mostly due to the presence of Oxytocin which helps you connect intimately with your partner.
This was a huge “ah ha” for me as I started to understand why I felt so euphoric after a great Tantric Sex session.
Celebrating “Yes!”
What seems to be true for me is that Tantric Sex has more to do with hormones and the effect of the practices on the physical body than anything I might have equated with an enlightened state.
Don’t get me wrong, I have had enlightened states of consciousness while practicing Tantra yoga too so that method can definitely get you there.
Whether you’re practicing Tantra for better sex, better relationships or as a way to grow spiritually, know that Tantra is also about celebrating “yes!”
It says “yes” to it all; to every emotion, to your body and to the full expression of your sexuality.
No, you don’t have to be spiritual to practice the art of Tantric Sex, you just have to say “yes” to the journey and see where it takes you!
Have you had Tantric sex before?
What did you feel after the session?
Feel free to comment below.
With orgasmic delight,
Jaiya
