As human beings, we are comprised of so many things…
Our energy fields.
Our memories and stories.
Our desires, dreams, and fears.
And our bodies.
It can be argued that all of these things existed before we came into physical being, and will continue after we die – except our bodies.
Our bodies are utterly distinct and unique to this plane of existence, and we only have them for a relatively short speck of time in the grand scheme of things.
What a marvelous gift!
And they have an enormous capacity for pleasure …
So why does it sometimes seem so hard to access that pleasure in our bodies?
Maybe you can relate to feeling “stuck in your head” – mind constantly running, churning out thought after thought. (Did you know that a 2020 study found that we think an average of 60,000 thoughts PER DAY?! And 90% of these are repetitive.)
So many of us crave a break… from THINKING! And if 90% of our thoughts are repetitive loops, isn’t it about time to break out of those limiting patterns?
The good news is that we have the most incredible tool available to quiet our talkative minds, and it’s with us every single second of every single day.
And that, of course, is our bodies.
It can also be difficult to really drop into the body because not only does it house our most blissful pleasures, but also – sometimes – our deepest and most unprocessed pain. Some of us even learn, as very young children, that inhabiting the body is not safe.
Many of us are told our bodies are ugly. Too thin, too fat, too short, tall, and on and on.
We’re also told…
Pleasure is bad…
And sex is sinful!
In a world that scrutinizes our bodies, it can be challenging to love, or even like, them at all.
So often, we experience our bodies from the outside in – in other words, we look at our bodies the way we assume the world must see them.
But what happens when we experience our bodies from the inside out?
If you’re wiggling your toes in the cool, soft sand of a beach and loving every second of it, are you REALLY worrying about how attractive you are?
Probably not, because you’re so immersed in the deliciousness of your toes that you’re experiencing even a pinprick moment of your own divine beauty radiating outward into the world, rather than using the world’s eyes as your measuring stick.
One way we can begin to teach, or re-teach, our bodies safety and self-acceptance is through connecting to pleasure – and when we are in pleasure, we are simply living our innate, breathtaking beauty.
We can do this as gently and slowly as we need to.
After all, our bodies usually love tenderness and care.
Maybe we begin with tuning into our breath for a few minutes each day, doing nothing but being present with the rise and fall of our in and out breath for five minutes.
Or maybe we take a bit longer than usual with our morning shower, noting and giving attention to the parts of our body that really seem to be “online” as we run a bar of soap over our skin. (What if you discovered that the backs of your arms are exquisitely sensitive as you massage soapy lather all over them?!)
Getting to know our bodies and what turns them on gently, attentively, and with a generous helping of self-compassion can lead to BIG discoveries over time.
You may wake up one day to find that you not only can remain present with your inhales and exhales for a few minutes, but also can sense orgasmic waves of pleasure burbling to the surface…
Across your collarbones!
Or in the hollows of the backs of your knees.
It’s amazing how quickly the body can open up and share its pleasure secrets, given some love and attention.
Once we really get to know our bodies and what turns them on, we have even MORE to offer our lover or lovers in those less tangible – but amazingly sexy! – dimensions of imagination, soul connection, and emotional intimacy, if that’s what we desire.
So try some different types of touch on your body with your own hands – like hovering touch, deep contouring caresses, and scratches.
You can even get really creative with items you find in your home!
(Who knew you could use kitchen utensils as sensation toys??)
There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ in exploring your own body.
Simply listen to what it says, without judgment.
In many ways, our bodies are the only true home we have while we’re here on this planet, and as we discover all the pleasures it is capable of, it truly becomes…
home sweet home.