Are you ready to live out loud and be who you really are?
The world may judge you, persecute and attack you for your true, unabashed expression of your authentic self, especially if you’re committed to your own erotic expression and expansion!
How can you be who you truly are in the face of a potential threat?
Ian, Jaiya’s partner here.
When I was a teenager, I was the tap dance king of Northeast Ohio.
For my expression as a dancer, I was called “gay”, “homo”, “faggot”, “queer”.
When I was young, these labels were a knife that cut deep and names that confused me.
I had “friends” turn on me and join in with those who ridiculed me.
I was ostracized, bullied and, on more than one occasion, physically attacked by peers.
I lived with a sense of dread every day going to school and the violence I might face.
Simultaneously, in my tribe of dancers, I was surrounded by people who had crushes on me and admired me. I was rewarded, awarded and supported in so many ways.
I was a super freak in many other ways. The way I thought, dressed and behaved did not comport with the norms of my conservative town.
Perhaps, because of this youthful experience, I developed a fierce advocacy and defense for people who were “different”.
In fact, one of my driving missions in life is to open the door for people to be fully, authentically self-expressed.
What parts of you are buried deep inside?
What parts of you are dying to come out and play?
How much vitality and aliveness are you leaving on the table because you once were judged, shamed or attacked for stepping out of line. Perhaps you fear receiving this treatment now if you boldly express your true self.
How do you dare to be you?
This last weekend at our Path to Passion Live Event, participants were popping out of their shells of repression and claiming their wildly expressed true natures.
It’s possible to fly in the face of the status quo and be the wild child all on your own, but it’s hard and sometimes truly dangerous.
What are the ingredients that create an environment where authentic self-expression is safe?
- A Container of Consent to Create A Meaningful Sense of Safety
- Self Awareness
- Permission – To Be You
- And An Empowering Community of Empathy and Support
A Container of Consent:
If you do whatever you want, without consideration for others, you may create real harm for the people in your life.
At the event, we created a container where consent is the foundation.
Do you ask consent from yourself to touch your own body? Do you consciously cultivate consent even in your long-term relationships?
Where have you assumed you have consent with others?
Where have you given over consent when you really don’t want to?
If you’re not good at setting and keeping boundaries, how has that affected your ability to feel safe being authentic and bold?
With someone you trust, begin a conversation where you call into question any assumed boundaries. If you always hug without asking for verbal consent, set a boundary for a week where you both have to ask if you want to hug.
Begin asking your own body if it wants to receive the touch and self-pleasure you want to give it.
Creating conscious consent can be hot!
Begin to play.
Self-Awareness:
The first step in expressing who you are is to getting in touch with yourself.
How do you do this?
Body Revealing was an incredibly powerful tool at this weekend workshop.
Begin to pay attention to the signals of your body.
As you experience opportunities to make decisions about what to do, begin taking a pause to notice how your body responds.
Do you open or contract? Do you feel buzzy excitement or do you feel a cold, dark weight somewhere in your body?
The body is your canary in the coal mine to divine your authentic responses.
You can begin to call out your body sensations, then find the emotion behind them and then keep asking “what do I need, want, desire, right now?”
Let your body do the talking and begin taking some courageous steps in asking for what you want.
Permission to be You:
How amazing does it feel when you express something vulnerable, scary, exciting or playful and the people around you receive you fully?
How invigorated do you feel when people cheer you on and they just get more excited for you the further you go in your self-expression.
Who are you surrounding yourself with in your life?
Are your friends and family seeing you for who you are or who they want you to be?
It can take some training of those around you but begin to cultivate a tribe of supporters.
And you get back what you reflect in the world, so do for others what you wish to be done for you.
Find out who the people in your life really are and fill them with love and encouragement to be exactly that!
An Empowering Community of Empathy and Support:
This is an extension of getting permission to be you.
Exploring who and what you are is fueled by having a tribe of people who really see you.
Going deeper into new experiences is buoyed when you have mentors and fellow travelers on the path.
Have you found communities who are on the same journey as you?
It can be really hard to expand into erotic freedom in pretty much any country on this planet. Having a place to openly discuss sexuality and promote a healthy relationship with your eroticism and pleasure is essential to sustaining learning and expansion.
Our Path to Passion event and our monthly membership club, Erotic Freedom Club, are a few places we’ve created this level of community.
Where’s your tribe??
Join us at Path to Passion Live next time around.
Give yourself permission to be who you truly are!
