If you’re like most people, you received zero education about your own erotic wiring.
Yes, if we were fortunate, we were at least taught the biology (plumbing), and unfortunate, maybe given some moral framework (sex and pleasure are bad).
However, we were never handed a map to our actual pleasure system.
The Erotic Blueprints® are your map.
The 5 Types (A brief overview… So much more to explore):
The Energetic Type: Turned on by anticipation, space, and energy. Superpowers: orgasm without touch, profound sensitivity. Shadow: overwhelm, shutdown from too much too fast. In a relationship, the Energetic partner often gets labeled as “not interested in sex” when really they’re overstimulated by the wrong kind of approach.
The Sensual Type: Turned on by all senses being engaged. Superpowers: full-body, non-genital orgasm. Beauty, taste, scent, sound are all erotic. Shadow: getting trapped in the head, monkey-mind chatter, needing everything “perfect” before they can relax into pleasure. *The Sensual partner often needs to relax FIRST, then desire follows. This is the opposite of what most people expect.*
The Sexual Type: Turned on by what our culture typically defines as “sex.” Nudity, penetration, orgasm, genital focus. Superpowers: high drive, simplicity, certainty. Shadow: limited definition of sex that can leave a partner feeling unseen. *The Sexual partner is often the one confused about why “more sex” isn’t fixing the problem. The answer: their partner needs a different KIND of attention.*
The Kinky Type: Turned on by taboo. Two flavors: psychological (power, surrender, control) and sensation (ropes, impact, intensity). Superpowers: endless creativity, deep trust, altered states. Shadow: shame about desires, getting locked into one narrow pathway. *The Kinky partner may be hiding their deepest turn-ons from their lover out of shame, creating an invisible wall between them.*
The Shapeshifter Type: Turned on by all of it. Massive capacity for pleasure across all types. Superpowers: versatility, endurance, can please any partner. Shadow: chronic starvation because they’re always shifting to feed their partner’s type while their own vast needs go unmet. *The Shapeshifter is the most likely to say “I’m fine” while slowly dying of erotic hunger.*
Desire Discrepancy and So-Called ‘Sexual Incompatibility’
The Mismatch Problem:
Most relationship friction isn’t about desire. It’s about approach.
An Energetic paired with a Sexual isn’t incompatible. They just need a translator.
The Energetic needs hovering touch, eye gazing, emotional and energetic connection to fully receive and open to intimacy. Physical touch doesn’t even need to happen for orgasmic climax to flow.
A Sexual Type can be utterly confused and frustrated by the Energetic. “How the hell are we supposed to be turned on by ‘not’ touching?”
The Sexual Type needs directness and certainty. We’re going to dive in, get naked, enjoy each other’s genitals and, if this is a success, we all get to climax.
Without the Erotic Blueprint Framework to help translate each other’s language of desire, the Sexual says “Why won’t you let me touch you? Why does this have to be so complicated?” and the Energetic says “Why do you always grab at me? I don’t feel like you’re connecting to me. I’m just something you use for your pleasure.”
Each Blueprint Type can run into conflict with how the other Blueprints like to play.
The Sensual wants close, contouring touch, while the Energetic craves space. The Kinky wants intense sensation, role play, power dynamic intrigue, while the Sexual wants to get to the fun without all the fanfare.
The Shapeshifter wants it all, but is often left starving for more. They meet their lover’s Blueprint in bed, while their own needs for variety go unmet and unfulfilled. Their lovers often tell them they are “too much.”
Does anything feel familiar?
In these misunderstandings, both partners feel unseen, unmet, and rejected.
We don’t need to live with this pain!
Bridging the Pleasure Chasm…
Here’s a simple exercise you and your lover can do tonight to understand how to please each other:
The A-B Game (A practical takeaway):
Compare two types of touch A and touch B making sure they are very distinct types of touch. For example: hover your hand above their belly without touching them (touch A) and then lightly scratch their inner forearm (touch B). Then simply ask “which was more pleasurable, A or B?”
Run through different Blueprint-style touches.
You’ll start to see each other’s language of pleasure emerge in real time.
I know. This seems too simple.
To be frank, this practice is a simple version of the deeper work of discovery.
You will gain incredible insights with this basic version of the A/B game. And you may also uncover how much you don’t know that you don’t know.
For instance:
- Do you know how to give pleasure in every Blueprint Style, so you can get the most out of a tool like the A/B game
- Are you skilled at Energetic, Sensual, Kinky, Sexual and Shapeshifter erotic play
- Are you confident in you your touch skills, confident you can meet your lover’s needs in between the sheets
- Can you stay connected to pleasure or do you get easily distracted, and you never experience the orgasm climax you crave
- Do you know how to communicate your desires without embarrassment or shame and in a way where your lover wants to fulfill them
- When things go sideways in the bedroom, do you know how to recover, dismantle the triggers and return to connection, love and play
To achieve sexual satisfaction, the real depth comes from getting into the body with guided practices, learning to communicate what you discover in ways that inspire connection and desire, and understanding your Stages of Sexuality and Obstacles that shape your unique erotic profile.
That’s what The Pleasure Playbook program was built for.
Unlock your pleasure potential and decode your desire, find out how <<
