Dear Jaiya,
I have a wonderful and romantic husband. We have been together for nine years. This is what frustrates me….I have trouble achieving multiple orgasms with him. I get so sensitive after an orgasm and he is ready to go on 3, 4, 5x and on after! How can I achieve multiple orgasms? I am 44 and feeling like maybe it's just not in me. Hate that my husband is like the energizer bunny!

Thanks L

Dear L,

Of course I have questions.  What kind of orgasm are you having?  Is it a clitoral orgasm?  What part of your body get's “too sensitive”?  Is it your clitoris?

If you are having a clitoral orgasm and your clitoris is getting too sensitive then you can start from there.  I liken a deep clitoral orgasm to an ejaculation for a man, for some women it's the point of no return.  We feel a dip in arousal, we get overly sensitive and we loose interest in continuing on to the next orgasm.  If you want to go for multiple clitoral orgasms try this.  Go almost to the point where you are about to have the orgasm, say if 10 is your big orgasm then stop at 9.5.  Stop all motion and notice what happens, take a breath and resume, build again, stop again.  Repeat this at least three times.  This is how I learned how to have multiple clitoral orgasms and vaginal orgasms, it's when I stop that I will have the orgasm, but it isn't taking me over the edge into too much sensitivity.

If you do experience your big orgasm rest for a few seconds (10-30) and then try indirect stimulation to your clitoral shaft through your labia as you start building again.  Once the sensitivity dies down move to more direct stimulation to the shaft and head of your clitoris.

Keep in mind that there are many different types of female orgasm.  If your clitoris is too sensitive after you cum, you may want to go for a g-spot orgasm or ejaculation.  If your entire vulva gets too sensitive after your orgasm what about moving to nipple stimulation.  Did you know that you can have orgasms in your nipples?  Yep, it's true.

As for your husband being an energizer bunny- is he only interested in intercourse or is he up for other activities?  Does he have difficulty having orgasms, or is he multi-orgasmic?    Is he the one who wants your to have multiple orgasms?  I ask this last question because I see a lot of women who want to perform certain sexual feats, for their husband and not for themselves.  This is like swimming up river instead of flowing with the stream.  Are you trying to match your husband sexually?  I would love to address this “energizer bunny”  issue but I need more information from you.  The biggest advice I would add is to find a variety of sexual activities to do as opposed to just intercourse.

Good Luck on Your Journey!