intimate gratitude

What do you think about when you think of expressing gratitude for your lover?  Do you think of flowers?  Or sharing verbally how much you appreciate them in your life?  How would you like your lover to express their gratitude for you?

How about taking your appreciation and gratitude to the next level?  This is what I call a moment of intimate gratitude and here are guidelines to help you fully appreciate your partner with deep intimacy.

1.      Be 100% present with them.  This is not a time to think about stuff in your past or what you have to do later in the day, month or year.  This is about now.  It is a moment; let it be just that, the moment.

2.      Be transparent, emotionally naked, and vulnerable.  This is a great time to really practice your authenticity.  Don’t make up some lame thing that you are grateful about.  Let it come from your entire body, you soul even (if you want to go deep, and I invite you to do just that.)  Vulnerability and complete, radical honesty are a huge turn on for many people.  It creates safety, trust and empathy.  

3.      Use more than just words.  Expressing your gratitude verbally is a great step, but I am challenging you to a true MOMENT OF INTIMATE Gratitude.  So, massage your partner as you let them know just how much they mean to you.  Cuddle with your lover and stroke their hair as you tell them all the things that you love and appreciate about them.  Make a hot bath and wash away stress as you let them know that their hard work isn’t taken for granted.  Completely and totally nurture your partner.

4.      Make it unconditional, don’t expect anything in return.  Let you lover receive fully with no pressure to return any favors.  This is a gift for them, so remember this as you touch them.  Ask them what they would like most as you touch and express.

5.      Make it a ritual.  What I mean by ritual is that you treat it as a special time.  It doesn’t have be long, it can simply be a moment, but let it have a clear beginning and a clear ending.  In other words, frame your moment of intimate gratitude.  An example would be lighting a candle to begin and then blowing out the candle when you are complete.  Another example could be turning on a special song and then the ritual is complete when the song ends.  Clear beginnings and endings create another level of intimate space.

I just came back from Hawaii where they share words from the heart that deepen intimate connection.  Say “Thank you, I LOVE you” over and over again to your lover while looking in their eyes.  This can be healing and deeply connecting.  If you are celebrating Thanksgiving this weekend, I invite you to do more than just say thanks.  Share a moment of intimate gratitude!